Shopaholic is BACK, babie!!!

I like chocolate cake. I like coffee. And I like Kinsella's Shopaholic series. Well, maybe not all. I didn't particularly like Shopaholic & Sister. I did not see the reason for Rebecca Bloomwood to be wanting so eagerly to bond with the could-have-been sister, Jess, who despised shopping. I thought the ending where Becky was clicking her obsession to shop with Jess's obsession to collect rocks was lame.

So, it made a lot of sense that Kinsella needed to produce another work to bury the what-I-perceive-to-be lower than average Shopaholic episode with bouncy Shopaholic & Baby book. That was a good book. And I thought that would be the last I would hear of Becky. I was wrong. And secretly happy that I would be hearing what Becky would be up to. I did not see the reason for a return, but Rebecca Brandon nee Bloomwood was back. With her two year old baby, Minnie. And hence, the name Mini Shopaholic.

I was horrified to imagine a two year old doing the credit cards like her mom, but I was prepared to be open-minded. I mean, it's Kinsella. Sure, I did not like the Undomestic Goddess - (puhleazzzzze.. a lawyer learning to cook in one lesson?? I still burn my fried rice.). But I have faith in Kinsella. I shall always have her Can I Tell You a Secret? as a testimony of her fun writing. As well as Twenties Girl.

Kinsella made me sit through my free time, not switching on the tv or playing music and even made me staying up past 1am just to finish up the last 50 pages to find out what victory Becky would kick up. I have to say that I was stunned by the ending. Not a typical ending, of the previous Shopaholic episodes. I still think the book was misleading. And thank goodness. I am in for more Becky. Not Minnie. I want to hear what silly stuff Becky would come up with, and not some whining kid. And that was Kinsella served through this new book.

Some scenes really made me laughed out loud. Some scenes made me questioned my loyalty to the idea of a Beckinism. As well as to the question of whether there would be such a patient man like Luke Brandon. It's  amazing to know that there is such a man who would love a woman through anything...

But still, when the book came to an end, I forgave Becky for the creepy shopping habit she was demonstrating in the earlier scenes, as well as her self-denial character. As the book had hinted, I am looking forward to hearing Becky again, in a new world. Hopefully this time I will be more tolerant of her obsession. 

I love Kinsella. I love Rebecca Bloomwood. I love this new book - Mini Shopaholic.

P/s: Nice touch to the mother stuff. Made me wanna hug that icy queen too.

The Last Airbender Introduces Princess Penishead

After reading the poor review of another poor directing effort of M. Night Shyamalan, I was not really rushing out to watch The Last Airbender. My forgiveness for him which got me to watch The Happening (2008) was a poor judgement. Never knew an Oscar nominee Mark Wahlberg could be reduced into poor and stoned acting, until I watched M. Night Shyamalan's work.

Anyway, the movie did earn US$130m in USA box office, due to the cult fan base from the cartoon series. So, I got myself a ticket and prepared myself for the worse.

My goodness. Emotion-less acting, poor dialog, weak martial art moves, wrong casting and bad, bad directing. But what really got my attention, other than trying to figure out who the familiar actor playing Sokka was (Jasper, dude!), was the scene when the trio entered the North City. What was M. Night Shyamalan tried to do??? Penishead??

This was how the princess originally looked like. Thanks to M. Night Shyamalan, the kids were introduced early to body anatomy education.

Missing Missy

Frankly, I don't like Forwarded Mails. You know, those with blinking, glittery teddy bears, glossy love signs, jokes, photos, pictures of crocodile eating man, pictures of man eating crocodiles etc etc.

Today, I received another Forwarded Mail from an ex-student who obviously missed my class when I begged, pleaded and threatened any student who spam my mailbox with Forwarded Mail. And I was glad he did.

I laughed. My eyes went watery. And I really perspired from laughing. You know that LOL. I did that... Kudos to the one who set this! This is good.

An email from a secretary to a  designer at work.....


Hi  David
I opened the screen door yesterday and my cat got out and  has been missing since then so I was wondering if you are not too  busy you could make a poster for me. It has to be A4 and I will  photocopy it and put it around my suburb this afternoon.

This is the only  photo of her I have she answers to the name Missy and is black and  white and about 8 months old. missing on Harper street and my phone  number.
Thanks Shan.

From: David  Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 9.26am
To:  Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Poster

Dear  Shannon, That is shocking  news. Luckily I was sitting down when I read your email and not half  way up a ladder or tree. How are you holding up? I am surprised you  managed to attend work at all what with thinking about Missy out  there cold, frightened and alone... possibly lying on the side of  the road, her back legs squashed by a vehicle, calling out "Shannon,  where are you?"

Although I have two clients expecting completed  work this afternoon, I will, of course, drop everything and do  whatever it takes to facilitate the speedy return of  Missy. 

Regards, David.

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June  2010 9.37am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re:  Poster

yeah ok thanks. I know you dont like cats but I am  really worried about mine. I have to leave at 1pm today. 

From: David Thorne
Date:  Monday 21 June 2010 10.17am
To: Shannon  Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Poster

Dear  Shannon, I never said I don't  like cats. Once, having been invited to a party, I went clothes  shopping beforehand and bought a pair of expensive G-Star boots.  They were two sizes too small but I wanted them so badly I figured I  could just wear them without socks and cut my toenails very short.  As the party was only a few blocks from my place, I decided to walk.  After the first block, I lost all feeling in my feet. Arriving at  the party, I stumbled into a guy named Steven, spilling Malibu &  coke onto his white Wham 'Choose Life' t-shirt, and he punched me.  An hour or so after the incident, Steven sat down in a chair already  occupied by a cat. The surprised cat clawed and snarled causing  Steven to leap out of the chair, slip on a rug and strike his  forehead onto the corner of a speaker; resulting in a two inch open  gash. In its shock, the cat also defecated, leaving Steven with a  foul stain down the back of his beige cargo pants. I liked that  cat. 

Attached poster as  requested. 

Regards, David.  

From:  Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010  10.24am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re:  Re: Poster

yeah thats not what I was looking for at all. it  looks like a movie and how come the photo of Missy is so  small? 




From: David  Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.28am
To:  Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re:  Poster

Dear Shannon,  It's a  design thing. The cat is lost in the negative space.
Regards,  David.



From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday  21 June 2010 10.33am
To: David Thorne
Subject:  Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

Thats just stupid. Can you do it  properly please? I am extremely emotional over this and was up all  night in tears. you seem to think it is funny. Can you make the  photo bigger please and fix the text and do it in colour please.  Thanks. 




From: David  Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.46am
To:  Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re:  Poster

Dear Shannon,  Having  worked with designers for a few years now, I would have assumed you  understood, despite our vague suggestions otherwise, we do not  welcome constructive criticism. I don't come downstairs and tell you  how to send text messages, log onto Facebook and look out of the  window. I am willing to overlook this faux pas due to you no doubt  being preoccupied with thoughts of Missy attempting to make her way  home across busy intersections or being trapped in a drain as it  slowly fills with water. I spent three days down a well once but  that was just for fun. 
I have amended and  attached the poster as per your instructions. 
Regards, David.

From: Shannon  Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.59am
To:  David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re:  Poster

This is worse than the other one. can you make it so  it shows the whole photo of Missy and delete the stupid text that  says missing missy off it? I just want it to say Lost. 




From: David  Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.14am
To:  Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re:  Poster

From: Shannon  Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.21am
To:  David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re:  Poster

yeah can you do the poster or not? I just want a photo  and the word lost and the telephone number and when and where she  was lost and her name. Not like a movie poster or anything stupid. I  have to leave early today. If it was your cat I would help you.  Thanks. 




From:  David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010  11.32am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject:  Awww

Dear Shannon,  I don't  have a cat. I once agreed to look after a friend's cat for a week  but after he dropped it off at my apartment and explained the  concept of kitty litter, I kept the cat in a closed cardboard box in  the shed and forgot about it. If I wanted to feed something and  clean faeces, I wouldn't have put my mother in that home after her  stroke. A week later, when my friend came to collect his cat, I  pretended that I was not home and mailed the box to him. Apparently  I failed to put enough stamps on the package and he had to collect  it from the post office and pay eighteen dollars. He still goes on  about that sometimes, people need to learn to let go. I have attached the amended version of your  poster as per your detailed instructions. 
Regards, David. 

From: Shannon  Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.47am
To:  David Thorne
Subject: Re: Awww

Thats not my cat.  where did you get that picture from? That cat is orange. I gave you  a photo of my cat. 



From: David Thorne
Date:  Monday 21 June 2010 11.58am
To: Shannon  Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Awww

I know, but that one  is cute. As Missy has quite possibly met any one of several violent  ends, it is possible you might get a better cat out of this. If  anybody calls and says "I haven't seen your orange cat but I did  find a black and white one with its hind legs run over by a car, do  you want it?" you can politely decline and save yourself a costly  veterinarian bill. I knew someone who  had a basset hound that had its hind legs removed after an accident  and it had to walk around with one of those little buggies with  wheels. If it had been my dog I would have asked for all its legs to  be removed and replaced with wheels and had a remote control  installed. I could charge neighbourhood kids for rides and enter it  in races. If I did the same with a horse I could drive it to work. I  would call it Steven. 
Regards, David.



From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June  2010 12.07pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re:  Re: Awww

Please just use the photo I gave you. 



From: David  Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.22pm
To:  Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

From: Shannon  Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.34pm
To:  David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

I  didnt say there was a reward. I dont have $2000 dollars. What did  you even put that there for? Apart from that it is perfect can you  please remove the reward bit. Thanks Shan. 



From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21  June 2010 12.42pm
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject:  Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

From: Shannon  Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.51pm
To:  David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re:  Awww

Can you just please take the reward bit off altogether?  I have to leave in ten minutes and I still have to make photocopies  of it.


 
From:  David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010  12.56pm
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re:  Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 1.03pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww
Fine. That will have to do


Just found the original source. Great work, David. 

The World's Pretty Woman's Return

Julia Robert returns to the silver screen this week, leading a film on her own. It has been quite some time since the world got to see her fitting into a leading role.. I don't really check it out.. but I figure that it should be Erin Brokovich in the year 2000. I personally love her since she charmed the world as Vivien Ward, the hooker who got the world to be in love with her, and then winning herself an Edward, not a teenage vampire who could ease-drop on people's thinking, but the multi-millionaire played by Richard Gere, who sucked into other people's wealth. Still a sucker. Julia returned this week to USA box office in Eat Pray Love. Not that I know much detail about it, but I have always been fascinated by her ability to gain numbers in the box office success. Not that many women could claim the throne as the female box office champion, although Julia did have several women who could had challenged her stake a few times, namely Reese Witherspoon, Sandra Bullock etc.

Most female leads need charming male leads to share the front roles in order to build a big audience in the cinema. A look at Julia Robert's success, one could see that movies like Ocean's Eleven, Ocean's Twelve, Hook and Valentine's Day have many famous co-stars, but it was the other movies which got the movie reviewers' attention of Julia's starpower. Although Ocean's Eleven was the best of her box office success in America (where stars like Brad Pitt, George (why???) and Matt Damon etc were the factors too), Pretty Woman was easily the winner in the worldwide box office - the movie that got the world to fall in love with a hooker. :p  But seriously, Ocean's Twelve??? What a shameful film.

USA Box Office:

1. Ocean's Eleven (2001) - $183,417,150
2. Pretty Woman (1990) - $178,406,268
3. Runaway Bride (1999) - $152,257,509
4. My Best Friend's Wedding (1997) - $126,813,153
5. Erin Brockovich (2000) - $125,548,685
6. Ocean's Twelve (2004) - $125,531,634
7. Hook (1991) - $119,654,823
8. Notting Hill (1999) - $116,089,678
9. Valentine Day (2010) - $110,485,654
10. Sleeping with the Enemy (1991) - $101,599,005


Worldwide Box Office:

1. Pretty Woman (1990) - $463,400,000
2. Ocean's Eleven (2001) - $450,728,529
3. Notting Hill (1999) - $363,728,226
4. Ocean's Twelve (2004) - $363,531,634
5. Runaway Bride (1999) - $308,007,919
6. Hook (1991) - $300,854,823
7. My Best Friend's Wedding (1997) - $287,200,000
8. Erin Brockovich (2000) - $258,400,000
9. Valentine Day (2010) - $215,771,698
10. The Pelican Brief (1993) - $194,968,056

Source: The Numbers, as of 17 Aug 2010

Inception Deception

Leonardo DiCaprio might be BIG.. (I have male friends who confessed that they cried to Titanic!), but in my list of A-list stars (see, I am even kind enough to admit that he is an A-list star), he does nothing to jumpstart my interest. I usually catch new movies on the first day of screening.. Even James Marsden and that Katherine whatever in 27 Dresses (2008) were good enough to command my loyalty to catch that movie on its first day.

I caught Inception on its 3rd week. When it came down to absolutely nothing to do, I went to watch this movie people had been talking about on the day when movie ticket was cheaper and I was really, really with nothing to do - on the day I was bored with nothing.

And I was bored, in the cinema. I was bored with Leonardo. I was bored with the storyline. I was not even interested to know if the movie would turn out any other way. I did not even care if his character would see his kids.

Bored out of my mind, I was determined to seek his box office success. And here I have it. Kinda sad to see a guy like him unable to secure a good position to get better earning movies like Tom Hanks, Tom Cruise or Will Smith. Sad, really, that without Titanic and Christopher Nolan, Leonardo is almost nothing. Even Julia Roberts has more than 10 movies which earned more than $100 million in USA box office.

I liked him in Gilbert Grape. I liked him in Iron Mask. And that was all. I remember the movie Notting Hill (1999), when Hugh Grant's character accidentally became an interviewer and he asked the young actress whom she enjoyed working with, and she said 'Leonard.' And Hugh Grant's character looked surprise and asked 'Da Vince?'

USA Box Office -
1. Titanic (1997) - $600,788,188
2. Inception (2010) - $214,655,000*
3. Catch Me if You Can (2002) - $164,606,800
4. The Departed (2006) - $133,311,000
5. Shutter Island (2010) - $128,012,934
6. The Aviator (2004) - $102,608,827
7. Gangs of New York (2002) - $77,730,500
8. Blood Diamond (2006) - $57,377,916
9. The Man in the Iron Mask (1998) - $56,968,169
10. Romeo+Juliet (1996) - $46,338,728


Worldwide Box Office -
1. Titanic (1997) - $1,842,879,955
2. Inception (2010) - $414,655,000*
3. Catch Me if You Can (2002) - $351,106,800
4. Shutter Island (2010) - $294,512,934
5. The Departed (2006) - $290,539,042
6. The Aviator (2004) - $214,608,827
6. Gangs of New York (2002) - $190,400,000
7. Blood Diamond (2006) - $171,377,916
8. Romeo+Juliet (1996) - $147,542,381
9. Body of Lies (2008) - $108,394,666
10. Revolutionary Road (2008) - $76,989,671

Source: The Numbers
* Still rising as of Aug 8, 2010

Sorcerer's Apprentice? Hahahaha.... (...Not in a good way)

I saw Sorcerer's Apprentice today. I was already aware of some critics' negative reviews, but then again, seriously, who really believe those critics?? So, I decided that I should judge the movie on my own.. I mean, I love magic. I love wizard. Sorcerer's Apprentice has both.

But firstly, let's look at all those young actors selected for movies targeted at families.. Harry Potter in the books was portrayed as geeky with messy hair, but hey, look at Daniel Radcliffe in the photo below.. I challenge any mothers out there who wanna whack Daniel in the face?? No, right? More like mothers wanna protect and would sacrifice themselves, just to save Daniel from Lord Voldermont in real life.

Harry Potter, the beauty and that weird, red-hair friend.

Percy Jackson film might not be a great success in the box office, but at least the film got it right by casting a star who so did look like a Zac Efron.

Percy Jackson

Remember the Narnia kids? Well, at least the Prince are charmings, and the little girl is not an irritating Dakota.

Narnia Princes and Princesses

And even Home Alone has the right kid formula. You know, the sweet kid whom we all thought was adorable.. until we got too much of him since Home Alone II.

Macaulay Culkin

But Jay Baruchel? What? Even the kid before he grew up was all wrong.. There was no x-factor. What? Disney was worried that the kid would eclipse aging Nicolas Cage.

Sorcerer's Apprentice... Serious??

I felt bad watching the movie. Somewhere in the middle, I even tried to sleep. One, I would not, and could not, believe that Merlin would be so bad in judgement to pick an apprentice that would turn bad. And that wiseman Merlin's replacement would be a geek??

My colleague told me that this movie was one that combined works from other movies. I could see that - magic. That was an old school. Sure, it could work again, if the formula fits. But the others??

There was the mops (and brooms) scene borrowed from Fantasia (1940)

I've never liked Fantasia, although I understand why it was a classic, and neither did I like the mops scene in this 2010 film.

I thought movies should only borrow formulas that works, but doesn't anyone learn anything about Jar Jar Binks? Nerdy, whining and so-not-a-hero...

Not what you all think I was trying to point out here... :(

Seriously...

And the ending scene, which looked like it was from The Covenant, which was complaint as a scene too resembling Dragonball..



I am disappointed with Disney and Jerry Bruckheimer.

There was a horror film about Dentist

I am never fond of dentist. It is basically a bad romance. Not that there was ever any romance, but I don't like to see a dentist. They are not exactly the people who make your days glowering with sunshines and happiness. They drill you. They inflict pain on you. And then, they make you pay them. Not cheap, I might add.

I try to avoid seeing dentist. My experience with USM dentist still haunts me. It was my mistake. It was my stupidity.  It was my third year in USM and it was the term holiday. I passed by the only dental clinic in the campus and decided that I should have taken advantage of the low student queue to get a check-up. BIG MISTAKE! Nothing free comes painless. I learnt that lesson the hard way.

The famous dentist was on leave. That should have been the first sign for me to back out. But I did not. I was stupid enough to walk in, to let the second dentist attend to me.. By the time I was done, my gum hurt, sore from cuts and I believe it was still bleeding when I left the dentist.. and the drilling she did on me.. I was gripping so hard on the chair-arms, that eventually she stopped and asked - sakit ah? I groaned for mercy. And then, when it was already done, she inspected her work, wanting to be proud, ignoring the bleeding gum. And she saw one more hole. She told me to come back again. I nodded. I lied. I never stepped foot into that clinic again.

So, when my tooth chipped a little, I realized the nightmare was coming. After more than 3 weeks, I paid a dentist a visit. There was a few suggestion, when I kept emphasizing on affordable and good. Good, as in as little pain as possible. Which is practically non-existent. I was suggested of Farlim area and internet mentioned Siak Dental in Bayan. How difficult it is to find a good recommendation of dentist in Penang? My godbrother suggested his girlfriend's aunt's dental clinic in Gelugor area - Teh Dental Surgery in Gelugor area, opposite the Hindu Temple, just beside the road that separates the clinic and the post office.

So, in good faith, I went. The friendly receptionist asked me of my status - if I was a diabetic patient.. or if I am allergic to several drugs she mentioned.. 

I told her I was allergic to dentist.

So, the ordeal began. I was told of my cavity and plaque (??). There would be a need for scaling (??). Why can't people just say 'cleaning'?? Pain, but bearable. I did not like it. Arghhhhh!!!!

And then, the filling was done. It was ok. More bearable than the scaling (?). For someone who is thought to be good in opening his mouth, I was almost tore up trying to keep my mouth wide open.. Sigh..

And the dentist was friendly. Really friendly. Even when I got the bill, and realized that it was RM10 more expensive for each treatment than what my godbrother had mentioned to me... perhaps it had been some time since his last visit. Still, I was only glad that the process was over... I paid up and left.

The treatment was friendly and nice. Does that mean I forgive all dentists in the world now? Unlikely that I am gonna love them. I don't hate them. But don't ask me if I am in love with them. Sigh... 

Would I recommend this dentist to other fellow Penangites? Yes.

And get this! The dentist asked me how much I could claim (from my work place, I assume). I did not know that dentist can be funny. ;p

3rd Sequel

So, what's hot now in the market are Woody, Buzz Lightyear, Predators, Toy Story 3, Eclipse aka Twilight 3 and Jacob's chest.

So, just to do a simple comparison of how good a 3rd installment of a movie series should be, here's the stats, without inflation adjustment...

USA Box Office

1. Star Wars Ep. III: Revenge of the Sith (2005) - $380,270,577
2. The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (2003) - $377,027,325
3. Toy Story 3 (2010) - $342,040,500*
4. Spider-Man 3 (2007) - $336,530,303
5. Shrek the Third (2007) - $322,719,944
6. Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End (2007) - $309,420,425
7. Star Wars Ep. VI: Return of the Jedi (1983) - $309,205,079#
8. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (2004) - $249,538,952
9. The Twilight Saga: Eclipse (2010) - $239,699,029*
10. X-Men: The Last Stand (2006) - $234,362,462

Source: The-Numbers, as of 14 July 2010
* - Still rising
# - Of the original series


Worldwide Box Office

1. The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (2003) - $1,133,027,325
2. Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End (2007) - $960,996,492
3. Spider-Man 3 (2007) - $890,871,626
4. Star Wars Ep. III: Revenge of the Sith (2005) - $848,998,877
5. Shrek the Third (2007) - $798,958,162
6. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (2004) - $795,538,952
7. Star Wars Ep. VI: Return of the Jedi (1983) - $572,700,000#
8. Toy Story 3 (2010) - $555,140,500*
9. Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989)- $474,171,806
10. X-Men: The Last Stand (2006) - $459,359,555

Source: The-Numbers, as of 14 July 2010.

* - Still rising

# - Of the original series

X-Men will not be standing long in its placing for the World's Top 10. The Twilight Saga: Eclipse is just short of USD1 million to kick Wolverine, Storm and Phoenix's ends off the chart.

A Kungfu Kid Film Badly Named as Karate Kid (2010)

Long, long time ago, in the wonderful 80's, a film was made about a kid who got beaten up bad enough that a neighbourly old Japanese guy came to his rescue, taught him some moves and made him a champion. The storyline made the movie a hit, and created a cult following.

Zoomed into 2010, some Smith family taught it was time to push the boy in the family forward and made him the next famous Smith. So, Karate Kid was remade with 2010 storyline and allowed us to see the kid, who was expected to be beaten up, followed his mother to stay in China. Now, how this film avoided to be a racist film was an effort to be understood. Actually, I did not.

What I did see was the film director, producers and story-writers wrote how Chinese liked to kick the ass of a little black guy who moved to China. I wonder how many nice Chinese people would be shown in the film. So, conclusion - one. Jackie Chan's character. Sure, there was that little girl, with strange hair, and way too bigger size for the skinny little hero. But she was not qualified to be counted because she was supposed to be blinded by crush.

And that was another issue. With an older teenager played by Ralph Macchio in the original film, it made sense that a boy that age was experiencing teenage love and such. But in this 2010 remake, a 12 year old having a crush and doing that kissy-kissy thing?? It was like watching a Hallmark film badly made. There was no click in the film for a boy not-well-known to have this lovey-dovey moment. Like, seriously.. who cared? My friend who sat beside me commented like it was already almost 2 hours and hardly there was any fight, because we kept watching meaningless blossoming of two mismatched kids in I-don't-even-know-what-to-call.

So, we have a bunch of Chinese kids who beat up a black American kid. And a merciless Chinese martial art teacher who did not have sympathy for a shaken, beaten-up American kid.

So, Mr. Han (Jackie Chan) had to teach Dre how to hang up his jacket, which sounded so ridiculous, compared to the original wax-on, wax-off move in the original film. And then took train to go somewhere to climb up staircase and to drink some kind of water, which guaranteed winning streak. I mean, the poor Chinese boys did not stand a chance now that Dre drank the water and they did not.

And I knew Dre would win. Come on. He got to train on the Great Wall of China, and those Chinese kids did not.

So, how did the movie end? It was about a black American kid going to China to kick the Chinese people's butts and won. I mean, kungfu, not karate - Chinese martial art, and not even one Chinese was able to uphold their pride and got beaten by an American who was there in China in less than one year. And that snake move? Puh-lease....