i write funny

Shopaholic is BACK, babie!!!

2010-09-02T22:51:00.001+08:00

I like chocolate cake. I like coffee. And I like Kinsella's Shopaholic series. Well, maybe not all. I didn't particularly like Shopaholic & Sister. I did not see the reason for Rebecca Bloomwood to be wanting so eagerly to bond with the could-have-been sister, Jess, who despised shopping. I thought the ending where Becky was clicking her obsession to shop with Jess's obsession to collect rocks was lame.

So, it made a lot of sense that Kinsella needed to produce another work to bury the what-I-perceive-to-be lower than average Shopaholic episode with bouncy Shopaholic & Baby book. That was a good book. And I thought that would be the last I would hear of Becky. I was wrong. And secretly happy that I would be hearing what Becky would be up to. I did not see the reason for a return, but Rebecca Brandon nee Bloomwood was back. With her two year old baby, Minnie. And hence, the name Mini Shopaholic.

I was horrified to imagine a two year old doing the credit cards like her mom, but I was prepared to be open-minded. I mean, it's Kinsella. Sure, I did not like the Undomestic Goddess - (puhleazzzzze.. a lawyer learning to cook in one lesson?? I still burn my fried rice.). But I have faith in Kinsella. I shall always have her Can I Tell You a Secret? as a testimony of her fun writing. As well as Twenties Girl.

Kinsella made me sit through my free time, not switching on the tv or playing music and even made me staying up past 1am just to finish up the last 50 pages to find out what victory Becky would kick up. I have to say that I was stunned by the ending. Not a typical ending, of the previous Shopaholic episodes. I still think the book was misleading. And thank goodness. I am in for more Becky. Not Minnie. I want to hear what silly stuff Becky would come up with, and not some whining kid. And that was Kinsella served through this new book.

Some scenes really made me laughed out loud. Some scenes made me questioned my loyalty to the idea of a Beckinism. As well as to the question of whether there would be such a patient man like Luke Brandon. It's amazing to know that there is such a man who would love a woman through anything...

But still, when the book came to an end, I forgave Becky for the creepy shopping habit she was demonstrating in the earlier scenes, as well as her self-denial character. As the book had hinted, I am looking forward to hearing Becky again, in a new world. Hopefully this time I will be more tolerant of her obsession.

I love Kinsella. I love Rebecca Bloomwood. I love this new book - Mini Shopaholic.

P/s: Nice touch to the mother stuff. Made me wanna hug that icy queen too.

The Last Airbender Introduces Princess Penishead

2010-08-26T12:04:00.000+08:00

After reading the poor review of another poor directing effort of M. Night Shyamalan, I was not really rushing out to watch The Last Airbender. My forgiveness for him which got me to watch The Happening (2008) was a poor judgement. Never knew an Oscar nominee Mark Wahlberg could be reduced into poor and stoned acting, until I watched M. Night Shyamalan's work.

Anyway, the movie did earn US$130m in USA box office, due to the cult fan base from the cartoon series. So, I got myself a ticket and prepared myself for the worse.

My goodness. Emotion-less acting, poor dialog, weak martial art moves, wrong casting and bad, bad directing. But what really got my attention, other than trying to figure out who the familiar actor playing Sokka was (Jasper, dude!), was the scene when the trio entered the North City. What was M. Night Shyamalan tried to do??? Penishead??

This was how the princess originally looked like. Thanks to M. Night Shyamalan, the kids were introduced early to body anatomy education.

Missing Missy

2010-08-23T22:55:00.002+08:00

Frankly, I don't like Forwarded Mails. You know, those with blinking, glittery teddy bears, glossy love signs, jokes, photos, pictures of crocodile eating man, pictures of man eating crocodiles etc etc.

Today, I received another Forwarded Mail from an ex-student who obviously missed my class when I begged, pleaded and threatened any student who spam my mailbox with Forwarded Mail. And I was glad he did.

I laughed. My eyes went watery. And I really perspired from laughing. You know that LOL. I did that... Kudos to the one who set this! This is good.

An email from a secretary to a designer at work.....

Hi David
I opened the screen door yesterday and my cat got out and has been missing since then so I was wondering if you are not too busy you could make a poster for me. It has to be A4 and I will photocopy it and put it around my suburb this afternoon.

This is the only photo of her I have she answers to the name Missy and is black and white and about 8 months old. missing on Harper street and my phone number.
Thanks Shan.

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 9.26am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Poster

Dear Shannon, That is shocking news. Luckily I was sitting down when I read your email and not half way up a ladder or tree. How are you holding up? I am surprised you managed to attend work at all what with thinking about Missy out there cold, frightened and alone... possibly lying on the side of the road, her back legs squashed by a vehicle, calling out "Shannon, where are you?"

Although I have two clients expecting completed work this afternoon, I will, of course, drop everything and do whatever it takes to facilitate the speedy return of Missy.

Regards, David.

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 9.37am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Poster

yeah ok thanks. I know you dont like cats but I am really worried about mine. I have to leave at 1pm today.

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.17am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Poster

Dear Shannon, I never said I don't like cats. Once, having been invited to a party, I went clothes shopping beforehand and bought a pair of expensive G-Star boots. They were two sizes too small but I wanted them so badly I figured I could just wear them without socks and cut my toenails very short. As the party was only a few blocks from my place, I decided to walk. After the first block, I lost all feeling in my feet. Arriving at the party, I stumbled into a guy named Steven, spilling Malibu & coke onto his white Wham 'Choose Life' t-shirt, and he punched me. An hour or so after the incident, Steven sat down in a chair already occupied by a cat. The surprised cat clawed and snarled causing Steven to leap out of the chair, slip on a rug and strike his forehead onto the corner of a speaker; resulting in a two inch open gash. In its shock, the cat also defecated, leaving Steven with a foul stain down the back of his beige cargo pants. I liked that cat.

Attached poster as requested.

Regards, David.

From:  Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.24am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

yeah thats not what I was looking for at all. it looks like a movie and how come the photo of Missy is so small?

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.28am
To:  Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

Dear Shannon,  It's a design thing. The cat is lost in the negative space.
Regards, David.

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.33am
To: David Thorne
Subject:  Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

Thats just stupid. Can you do it properly please? I am extremely emotional over this and was up all night in tears. you seem to think it is funny. Can you make the photo bigger please and fix the text and do it in colour please. Thanks.

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.46am
To:  Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

Dear Shannon,  Having worked with designers for a few years now, I would have assumed you understood, despite our vague suggestions otherwise, we do not welcome constructive criticism. I don't come downstairs and tell you how to send text messages, log onto Facebook and look out of the window. I am willing to overlook this faux pas due to you no doubt being preoccupied with thoughts of Missy attempting to make her way home across busy intersections or being trapped in a drain as it slowly fills with water. I spent three days down a well once but that was just for fun.
I have amended and attached the poster as per your instructions.
Regards, David.

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.59am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

This is worse than the other one. can you make it so it shows the whole photo of Missy and delete the stupid text that says missing missy off it? I just want it to say Lost.

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.14am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.21am
To:  David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

yeah can you do the poster or not? I just want a photo and the word lost and the telephone number and when and where she was lost and her name. Not like a movie poster or anything stupid. I have to leave early today. If it was your cat I would help you. Thanks.

From:  David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.32am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject:  Awww

Dear Shannon,  I don't have a cat. I once agreed to look after a friend's cat for a week but after he dropped it off at my apartment and explained the concept of kitty litter, I kept the cat in a closed cardboard box in the shed and forgot about it. If I wanted to feed something and clean faeces, I wouldn't have put my mother in that home after her stroke. A week later, when my friend came to collect his cat, I pretended that I was not home and mailed the box to him. Apparently I failed to put enough stamps on the package and he had to collect it from the post office and pay eighteen dollars. He still goes on about that sometimes, people need to learn to let go. I have attached the amended version of your poster as per your detailed instructions.
Regards, David.

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.47am
To:  David Thorne
Subject: Re: Awww

Thats not my cat. where did you get that picture from? That cat is orange. I gave you a photo of my cat.

From: David Thorne
Date:  Monday 21 June 2010 11.58am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Awww

I know, but that one is cute. As Missy has quite possibly met any one of several violent ends, it is possible you might get a better cat out of this. If anybody calls and says "I haven't seen your orange cat but I did find a black and white one with its hind legs run over by a car, do you want it?" you can politely decline and save yourself a costly veterinarian bill. I knew someone who had a basset hound that had its hind legs removed after an accident and it had to walk around with one of those little buggies with wheels. If it had been my dog I would have asked for all its legs to be removed and replaced with wheels and had a remote control installed. I could charge neighbourhood kids for rides and enter it in races. If I did the same with a horse I could drive it to work. I would call it Steven.
Regards, David.

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.07pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Awww

Please just use the photo I gave you.

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.22pm
To:  Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.34pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

I didnt say there was a reward. I dont have $2000 dollars. What did you even put that there for? Apart from that it is perfect can you please remove the reward bit. Thanks Shan.

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.42pm
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.51pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

Can you just please take the reward bit off altogether? I have to leave in ten minutes and I still have to make photocopies of it.

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.56pm
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 1.03pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww
Fine. That will have to do

Just found the original source. Great work, David.

The World's Pretty Woman's Return

2010-08-17T13:55:00.000+08:00

Julia Robert returns to the silver screen this week, leading a film on her own. It has been quite some time since the world got to see her fitting into a leading role.. I don't really check it out.. but I figure that it should be Erin Brokovich in the year 2000. I personally love her since she charmed the world as Vivien Ward, the hooker who got the world to be in love with her, and then winning herself an Edward, not a teenage vampire who could ease-drop on people's thinking, but the multi-millionaire played by Richard Gere, who sucked into other people's wealth. Still a sucker. Julia returned this week to USA box office in Eat Pray Love. Not that I know much detail about it, but I have always been fascinated by her ability to gain numbers in the box office success. Not that many women could claim the throne as the female box office champion, although Julia did have several women who could had challenged her stake a few times, namely Reese Witherspoon, Sandra Bullock etc.

Most female leads need charming male leads to share the front roles in order to build a big audience in the cinema. A look at Julia Robert's success, one could see that movies like Ocean's Eleven, Ocean's Twelve, Hook and Valentine's Day have many famous co-stars, but it was the other movies which got the movie reviewers' attention of Julia's starpower. Although Ocean's Eleven was the best of her box office success in America (where stars like Brad Pitt, George (why???) and Matt Damon etc were the factors too), Pretty Woman was easily the winner in the worldwide box office - the movie that got the world to fall in love with a hooker. :p But seriously, Ocean's Twelve??? What a shameful film.

USA Box Office:

1. Ocean's Eleven (2001) - $183,417,150
2. Pretty Woman (1990) - $178,406,268
3. Runaway Bride (1999) - $152,257,509
4. My Best Friend's Wedding (1997) - $126,813,153
5. Erin Brockovich (2000) - $125,548,685
6. Ocean's Twelve (2004) - $125,531,634
7. Hook (1991) - $119,654,823
8. Notting Hill (1999) - $116,089,678
9. Valentine Day (2010) - $110,485,654
10. Sleeping with the Enemy (1991) - $101,599,005

Worldwide Box Office:

1. Pretty Woman (1990) - $463,400,000
2. Ocean's Eleven (2001) - $450,728,529
3. Notting Hill (1999) - $363,728,226
4. Ocean's Twelve (2004) - $363,531,634
5. Runaway Bride (1999) - $308,007,919
6. Hook (1991) - $300,854,823
7. My Best Friend's Wedding (1997) - $287,200,000
8. Erin Brockovich (2000) - $258,400,000
9. Valentine Day (2010) - $215,771,698
10. The Pelican Brief (1993) - $194,968,056

Source: The Numbers, as of 17 Aug 2010

Inception Deception

2010-08-08T23:10:00.000+08:00

Leonardo DiCaprio might be BIG.. (I have male friends who confessed that they cried to Titanic!), but in my list of A-list stars (see, I am even kind enough to admit that he is an A-list star), he does nothing to jumpstart my interest. I usually catch new movies on the first day of screening.. Even James Marsden and that Katherine whatever in 27 Dresses (2008) were good enough to command my loyalty to catch that movie on its first day.

I caught Inception on its 3rd week. When it came down to absolutely nothing to do, I went to watch this movie people had been talking about on the day when movie ticket was cheaper and I was really, really with nothing to do - on the day I was bored with nothing.

And I was bored, in the cinema. I was bored with Leonardo. I was bored with the storyline. I was not even interested to know if the movie would turn out any other way. I did not even care if his character would see his kids.

Bored out of my mind, I was determined to seek his box office success. And here I have it. Kinda sad to see a guy like him unable to secure a good position to get better earning movies like Tom Hanks, Tom Cruise or Will Smith. Sad, really, that without Titanic and Christopher Nolan, Leonardo is almost nothing. Even Julia Roberts has more than 10 movies which earned more than $100 million in USA box office.

I liked him in Gilbert Grape. I liked him in Iron Mask. And that was all. I remember the movie Notting Hill (1999), when Hugh Grant's character accidentally became an interviewer and he asked the young actress whom she enjoyed working with, and she said 'Leonard.' And Hugh Grant's character looked surprise and asked 'Da Vince?'

USA Box Office -
1. Titanic (1997) - $600,788,188
2. Inception (2010) - $214,655,000*
3. Catch Me if You Can (2002) - $164,606,800
4. The Departed (2006) - $133,311,000
5. Shutter Island (2010) - $128,012,934
6. The Aviator (2004) - $102,608,827
7. Gangs of New York (2002) - $77,730,500
8. Blood Diamond (2006) - $57,377,916
9. The Man in the Iron Mask (1998) - $56,968,169
10. Romeo+Juliet (1996) - $46,338,728

Worldwide Box Office -
1. Titanic (1997) - $1,842,879,955
2. Inception (2010) - $414,655,000*
3. Catch Me if You Can (2002) - $351,106,800
4. Shutter Island (2010) - $294,512,934
5. The Departed (2006) - $290,539,042
6. The Aviator (2004) - $214,608,827
6. Gangs of New York (2002) - $190,400,000
7. Blood Diamond (2006) - $171,377,916
8. Romeo+Juliet (1996) - $147,542,381
9. Body of Lies (2008) - $108,394,666
10. Revolutionary Road (2008) - $76,989,671

Source: The Numbers
* Still rising as of Aug 8, 2010

Sorcerer's Apprentice? Hahahaha.... (...Not in a good way)

2010-08-04T20:32:00.003+08:00

I saw Sorcerer's Apprentice today. I was already aware of some critics' negative reviews, but then again, seriously, who really believe those critics?? So, I decided that I should judge the movie on my own.. I mean, I love magic. I love wizard. Sorcerer's Apprentice has both.

But firstly, let's look at all those young actors selected for movies targeted at families.. Harry Potter in the books was portrayed as geeky with messy hair, but hey, look at Daniel Radcliffe in the photo below.. I challenge any mothers out there who wanna whack Daniel in the face?? No, right? More like mothers wanna protect and would sacrifice themselves, just to save Daniel from Lord Voldermont in real life.

Harry Potter, the beauty and that weird, red-hair friend.

Percy Jackson film might not be a great success in the box office, but at least the film got it right by casting a star who so did look like a Zac Efron.

Percy Jackson

Remember the Narnia kids? Well, at least the Prince are charmings, and the little girl is not an irritating Dakota.

Narnia Princes and Princesses

And even Home Alone has the right kid formula. You know, the sweet kid whom we all thought was adorable.. until we got too much of him since Home Alone II.

Macaulay Culkin

But Jay Baruchel? What? Even the kid before he grew up was all wrong.. There was no x-factor. What? Disney was worried that the kid would eclipse aging Nicolas Cage.

Sorcerer's Apprentice... Serious??

I felt bad watching the movie. Somewhere in the middle, I even tried to sleep. One, I would not, and could not, believe that Merlin would be so bad in judgement to pick an apprentice that would turn bad. And that wiseman Merlin's replacement would be a geek??

My colleague told me that this movie was one that combined works from other movies. I could see that - magic. That was an old school. Sure, it could work again, if the formula fits. But the others??

There was the mops (and brooms) scene borrowed from Fantasia (1940)

I've never liked Fantasia, although I understand why it was a classic, and neither did I like the mops scene in this 2010 film.

I thought movies should only borrow formulas that works, but doesn't anyone learn anything about Jar Jar Binks? Nerdy, whining and so-not-a-hero...

Not what you all think I was trying to point out here... :(

Seriously...

And the ending scene, which looked like it was from The Covenant, which was complaint as a scene too resembling Dragonball..

I am disappointed with Disney and Jerry Bruckheimer.

There was a horror film about Dentist

2010-07-29T11:37:00.002+08:00

I am never fond of dentist. It is basically a bad romance. Not that there was ever any romance, but I don't like to see a dentist. They are not exactly the people who make your days glowering with sunshines and happiness. They drill you. They inflict pain on you. And then, they make you pay them. Not cheap, I might add.

I try to avoid seeing dentist. My experience with USM dentist still haunts me. It was my mistake. It was my stupidity. It was my third year in USM and it was the term holiday. I passed by the only dental clinic in the campus and decided that I should have taken advantage of the low student queue to get a check-up. BIG MISTAKE! Nothing free comes painless. I learnt that lesson the hard way.

The famous dentist was on leave. That should have been the first sign for me to back out. But I did not. I was stupid enough to walk in, to let the second dentist attend to me.. By the time I was done, my gum hurt, sore from cuts and I believe it was still bleeding when I left the dentist.. and the drilling she did on me.. I was gripping so hard on the chair-arms, that eventually she stopped and asked - sakit ah? I groaned for mercy. And then, when it was already done, she inspected her work, wanting to be proud, ignoring the bleeding gum. And she saw one more hole. She told me to come back again. I nodded. I lied. I never stepped foot into that clinic again.

So, when my tooth chipped a little, I realized the nightmare was coming. After more than 3 weeks, I paid a dentist a visit. There was a few suggestion, when I kept emphasizing on affordable and good. Good, as in as little pain as possible. Which is practically non-existent. I was suggested of Farlim area and internet mentioned Siak Dental in Bayan. How difficult it is to find a good recommendation of dentist in Penang? My godbrother suggested his girlfriend's aunt's dental clinic in Gelugor area - Teh Dental Surgery in Gelugor area, opposite the Hindu Temple, just beside the road that separates the clinic and the post office.

So, in good faith, I went. The friendly receptionist asked me of my status - if I was a diabetic patient.. or if I am allergic to several drugs she mentioned..

I told her I was allergic to dentist.

So, the ordeal began. I was told of my cavity and plaque (??). There would be a need for scaling (??). Why can't people just say 'cleaning'?? Pain, but bearable. I did not like it. Arghhhhh!!!!

And then, the filling was done. It was ok. More bearable than the scaling (?). For someone who is thought to be good in opening his mouth, I was almost tore up trying to keep my mouth wide open.. Sigh..

And the dentist was friendly. Really friendly. Even when I got the bill, and realized that it was RM10 more expensive for each treatment than what my godbrother had mentioned to me... perhaps it had been some time since his last visit. Still, I was only glad that the process was over... I paid up and left.

The treatment was friendly and nice. Does that mean I forgive all dentists in the world now? Unlikely that I am gonna love them. I don't hate them. But don't ask me if I am in love with them. Sigh...

Would I recommend this dentist to other fellow Penangites? Yes.

And get this! The dentist asked me how much I could claim (from my work place, I assume). I did not know that dentist can be funny. ;p

3rd Sequel

2010-07-15T10:52:00.000+08:00

So, what's hot now in the market are Woody, Buzz Lightyear, Predators, Toy Story 3, Eclipse aka Twilight 3 and Jacob's chest.

So, just to do a simple comparison of how good a 3rd installment of a movie series should be, here's the stats, without inflation adjustment...

USA Box Office

1. Star Wars Ep. III: Revenge of the Sith (2005) - $380,270,577
2. The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (2003) - $377,027,325
3. Toy Story 3 (2010) - $342,040,500*
4. Spider-Man 3 (2007) - $336,530,303
5. Shrek the Third (2007) - $322,719,944
6. Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End (2007) - $309,420,425
7. Star Wars Ep. VI: Return of the Jedi (1983) - $309,205,079#
8. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (2004) - $249,538,952
9. The Twilight Saga: Eclipse (2010) - $239,699,029*
10. X-Men: The Last Stand (2006) - $234,362,462

Source: The-Numbers, as of 14 July 2010
* - Still rising
# - Of the original series

Worldwide Box Office

1. The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (2003) - $1,133,027,325
2. Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End (2007) - $960,996,492
3. Spider-Man 3 (2007) - $890,871,626
4. Star Wars Ep. III: Revenge of the Sith (2005) - $848,998,877
5. Shrek the Third (2007) - $798,958,162
6. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (2004) - $795,538,952
7. Star Wars Ep. VI: Return of the Jedi (1983) - $572,700,000#
8. Toy Story 3 (2010) - $555,140,500*
9. Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989)- $474,171,806
10. X-Men: The Last Stand (2006) - $459,359,555

Source: The-Numbers, as of 14 July 2010.

* - Still rising

# - Of the original series

X-Men will not be standing long in its placing for the World's Top 10. The Twilight Saga: Eclipse is just short of USD1 million to kick Wolverine, Storm and Phoenix's ends off the chart.

A Kungfu Kid Film Badly Named as Karate Kid (2010)

2010-06-12T09:41:00.000+08:00

Long, long time ago, in the wonderful 80's, a film was made about a kid who got beaten up bad enough that a neighbourly old Japanese guy came to his rescue, taught him some moves and made him a champion. The storyline made the movie a hit, and created a cult following.

Zoomed into 2010, some Smith family taught it was time to push the boy in the family forward and made him the next famous Smith. So, Karate Kid was remade with 2010 storyline and allowed us to see the kid, who was expected to be beaten up, followed his mother to stay in China. Now, how this film avoided to be a racist film was an effort to be understood. Actually, I did not.

What I did see was the film director, producers and story-writers wrote how Chinese liked to kick the ass of a little black guy who moved to China. I wonder how many nice Chinese people would be shown in the film. So, conclusion - one. Jackie Chan's character. Sure, there was that little girl, with strange hair, and way too bigger size for the skinny little hero. But she was not qualified to be counted because she was supposed to be blinded by crush.

And that was another issue. With an older teenager played by Ralph Macchio in the original film, it made sense that a boy that age was experiencing teenage love and such. But in this 2010 remake, a 12 year old having a crush and doing that kissy-kissy thing?? It was like watching a Hallmark film badly made. There was no click in the film for a boy not-well-known to have this lovey-dovey moment. Like, seriously.. who cared? My friend who sat beside me commented like it was already almost 2 hours and hardly there was any fight, because we kept watching meaningless blossoming of two mismatched kids in I-don't-even-know-what-to-call.

So, we have a bunch of Chinese kids who beat up a black American kid. And a merciless Chinese martial art teacher who did not have sympathy for a shaken, beaten-up American kid.

So, Mr. Han (Jackie Chan) had to teach Dre how to hang up his jacket, which sounded so ridiculous, compared to the original wax-on, wax-off move in the original film. And then took train to go somewhere to climb up staircase and to drink some kind of water, which guaranteed winning streak. I mean, the poor Chinese boys did not stand a chance now that Dre drank the water and they did not.

And I knew Dre would win. Come on. He got to train on the Great Wall of China, and those Chinese kids did not.

So, how did the movie end? It was about a black American kid going to China to kick the Chinese people's butts and won. I mean, kungfu, not karate - Chinese martial art, and not even one Chinese was able to uphold their pride and got beaten by an American who was there in China in less than one year. And that snake move? Puh-lease....

Hateful Friends. ;p

2010-06-03T11:36:00.003+08:00

I'm probably a bad person. I mean, I just realized that I have been around, in a social environment where I meet more than 200 new people each year. Given that it has been more than 13 years, that should be 2600 people. And I had more than 1000 friends in Facebook. And yet.. and yet.. I realized these 'friends' don't have any potential to introduce to me. Or is it that they don't want to introduce anyone to me 'coz I'm not good enough?

If only I had someone, I would not have got myself into the mess of broken-heart I am in all because I was desperate and lonely to be tricked into a life of short-lived romance.

I think my friends hate me. That must be it. It's impossible that they don't have anyone to introduce to me. I mean, all 1000 plus of them?? In the past 13 years????

I deleted them off my Facebook list. I really loathed to see a long list of people who don't even know I'm sad.

Feng Freaking Shui

2010-05-11T12:03:00.000+08:00

I read several articles here and there on the net.. seriously, who reads magazines now when Google filters for me what I want to read???... that pipes should not be leaking in the house. It drains out your wealth. Not that I have wealth. My godbrother complained to me before that his cousin did not have savings. I kept silent. If only he knows that I don't have any too. Shhhh.

Anyway, I have a leaking in the toilet. It had been leaking for months. Well, although I am not superstitious, perhaps this is true. I'm broke because things are leaking in my home. So, I spent money to fix it. Another RM120 down the drain. The fixer-man offered his service to service my air-con too. Another RM300 spent. And since then, birthday, birthday, birthday. Birthdays are not cheap. It is expensive to be a lecturer now - colleague's birthday. Student's birthdays. Sigh. And another ex-student's wedding is coming.

Any change in luck? Apparently no. It was suggested that I shut the door to the toilet. I did. And then, I smelled something bad a few hours later. Apparently I forgot I leave my dirty laundry by my washing machine, in front of the toilet. So, the odour could not escape. Just to be sure, I open the toilet door, and my small living space of my flat is breathable again. Phew.

So, any change of luck? Erm. No.

As for my bedroom, seriously, I need to rework on it. I am not feeling it since I have changed the arrangement of my bedroom. It felt empty and hollow.

My colleague told me of a tv series on haunted incidents. He said that the si fus did go to Thailand and looked at how oil was extracted from the corpse's chin. Applied on the eyebrows, it would help those in relationship.

Tempting.

Iron Man 2 : Needs Ironing

2010-05-02T23:58:00.001+08:00

So, the hype was there for the return of Tony Stark and Iron Man in Iron Man 2. Despite anything, this is a movie to be watched just to see how it stands up against the good first Iron Man film. I, for one, had already learned my lesson well from Pirates of the Carribean 3, Spider-Man 3, X-Men 3 and Harry Potter 6 films to know that sequels to earlier great films did not translate to an equal or better sequel.

So, I got my ticket and watched. I tried very, very hard to bypass my growing dislike for Tony Spark's arrogance and fast-talking. But then again, I did not really see the need to follow the dialogs or arguments between Tony Spark and his pathetic Pott. I did not even see the need for the disagreement.

Man, you have to give it to this film to play a superhero in his suit drunk. You'll never catch Batman doing that. Not Superman in his red trunk. Nor Spider-man no matter how ridiculous (and fat) Tobey Mcquire was in the third installment. Tony in Iron Man suit drunk?? I wish I got my money back. He was not entertaining. He was irritating.

And there was hardly any worthy action-packed. What a waste of money.

I am not a big fan of Scarlett Johansson, but thank goodness for her role. Her less than 5 minutes fighting scene was worth the 2 hours boredom of the movie. Please say no to Iron Man 3.

I KCUF-ing Hate MSN and People Who Asked Me to 'Add Me in MSN'.

2010-04-28T23:01:00.001+08:00

Seriously?

When ICQ was popular, my ex-colleague scolded me for not being online, although I had an account. So, faithfully, although I did not know why, I did. I saw her coming online, and then, she went offline. That was fast, I thought to myself. Maybe connection problem. After a few times, I figured that she was clicking herself to appear offline. When confronted, she laughed admitting guilt, and complaint that her ICQ icon - the eye, was staring back at her. It was freaking scary, she said.

Years later, I still have childish people who ask me to MSN with them. I was wondering.. what was the point? My experience taught me that no one would be honest about being online. They would choose to be offline, so that they would have the discretion to choose when and if they would want to chat with you. So, I would be helplessly be at the mercy of those who are hiding.

KCUF-ing elohssa.

What a waste of my time.

That's why I prefer to say that I don't do MSN. It's not a friendly place.

Me Hearts Gay Cows

2010-04-27T14:41:00.001+08:00

Spent my weekend shopping for decor stuff to place in my newly-cleaned-up bedroom and decided to head to shops that offer cutesy items. So, of course Living Cabin of AEON was one of the few places for browsing. And I have to say that I was so proud of Living Cabin. Why? For openly supporting gay decorating items.

Are you surprised? I was too. Maybe it was not intentional. But cows with horns? That's bull. No, not bullshit. Just bull. Or bulls.

That got me and my colleagues into little argument in the office on whether cows have horns or not, or we were just basically looking at two male cows in a basket, suppose to look lovingly as a couple.

Googled it, and I was able to come across an article that quoted City of Austin Library - In some breeds both sexes have horns, such as the Danish Red, White Park, and the famous Texas Longhorn. But in other breeds neither gender has horns like Angus, Polled Hereford, and Red Poll. Lots of times, the animals have had their horns removed.

Still, I should not ignore the fact that these cows are with spots, which means that they are not Danish Red, White Park or Texas Longhorn. They are Friesian cows. With horns.

So, I ended adopting these two bulls. Aren't they cute?

Oh, by the way, they are salt 'n pepper shakers. How cute!

No one remembers the gay sheep. :(

Avatar Film and DVD

2010-04-26T12:14:00.002+08:00

By now, you should know that Avatar is the top grossing film of all time.

In the international market (as in without America), it earned USD1.972b.

In America alone, it earned USD0.7452b

That means overall it earned USD2.7172b

That is almost half of what Zimbabwe earned in 2008 in a year.

And this just came in - 'Avatar' Sells 6.7 Million DVDs in 4 Days. This is some kind of record-breaking.

I popped my Avatar film in into my player. Around 10 minutes later, I switched it off. Seriously, this film is overrated. It is boring. I mean, to imagine the people in that beautiful planet never figured out how to ride that big red-orangie flying dragon on their own. James Cameron was trying to say that non-white people are stupid? And then, uniting the tribes. I was excited about this - but then again, there were only two other tribes - one which flies, and then other one which horses around. The funny thing was that the main tribe was already doing both flying and horsing.. so, what was so different from the other tribes?? The whole planet and there were only three tribes? Even Chinese has more clans than those Avians.

You already know what they say about people with big feet, right????

They have big shoes. ;p

Glee S01E15 - Like A Virgin

2010-04-25T07:22:00.000+08:00

YES!!! to the best tv show on the air now, and to the best episode it has produced so far - Power of Madonna. I thought the whole 40+ minutes were cool..

And then, I realized that Like A Virgin was wrongly sang by Finn, Rachel, Emma and possibly Jessie. I mean, it was supposed to be sung by someone who had lost virginity and now, found a new lover who made them feel brand new. Like duh

Madonna Like A Virgin
Uploaded by lucile18. - Explore more music videos.

The Carrier Man Can.

2010-04-24T10:18:00.001+08:00

Yesterday I am screwed. By the plumber. Who was also the air-con serviceman.

The same toilet which I paid RM100 for a repair was to be repaired again, since I had left enough dripping into the toilet bowl for months. It needs to stop. It only made sense. It's my home. I should have things moving on tip-top shape. So, there went RM110 for repair, which interestingly, a sum that I did not even try to negotiate for. Why??? Was I blur in the morning when he quoted me the price?

And then, he said that he does air-con service too, which is another way to say that his hired help does air-con service too. Well, since moving into this place at the end of 2000, I have never let my air-cons be serviced. Each air-con service is RM90. I am stating this down for record-keeping. If there is any other serviceman charging me cheaper, screw this handyman.

And to move my 2nd room's air con to my sauna-ish living room, it costed RM110. I'd better not be ripped off badly. And now I have a hole between my living room and my second room.

Damn, I'm gonna eat grass for days.

That said, I had a fun experience bargaining in Kek Loh Si (Pagoda) Temple recently. I was seeking for some decors to place in my room, and bumped into these Mandarin ducklings. From a RM18.50, by the time I was done walking away, I was offered by a friendly old man at the price of RM5. The same goes for my new windchime. He said RM7 but I told him I would take both the ducks and the windwhime for RM10. Take it or leave it. Okay.. so I did not exactly say that, but I did get my stuff for a tenner.

Mama Rings!

2010-04-23T10:59:00.000+08:00

Well, Mother's Day is coming. Yeah.

What is your ringtone for your mom?

I used to use this song - Mama Mia. Well, me and perhaps 145,633,211 other handphone users in the world. All for the sake of "Mama Mia, here I go again.. My, my, how can I resist you?"

Oh look. How groovy. Bet your mom don't wear like this when she was in the 70's.

Of course, I believe many in the generation x and xx has the song Mama by Spice Girls in their handphone as the ringtone. I would have, if I happened not to think that the song was too cheesy.

Mama, I love you? Too cheesy.

I wonder if anyone listed Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen as the ringtone to identify calls from their mothers.. That would be creepy.

"Mama just killed a man
Put a gun against his head
Pulled my trigger, now he's dead
Mama, life has just begun
But now I've gone and thrown it all away
Mama, ooh
Didn't mean to make you cry
If I'm not back again this time tomorrow
Carry on, carry on as if nothing really matters..."

A check on the keyword 'Mother' through SongMeaning.net and I find several songs on the first page of search results that listed songs I am not aware of..

Knife, The - We Share Our Mother's Health
Pink Floyd - Mother
Dead Weather, The - Treat Me Like Your Mother
Danzig - Mother
Crystal Castles - Mother Knows Best
Coheed and Cambria - Mother Superior
Beatles, The - Your Mother Should Know
Pink Floyd - Atom Heart Mother
New Radicals - Mother We Just Can't Get Enough
Tori Amos - Mother
Paul Simon - Mother and Child Reunion
Queen - Mother Love
Decemberists, The - My Mother Was a Chinese Trapeze Artist
White Stripes, The - I Want To Be The Boy That Warms Your Mother's Heart

Your mom would love the second last song. LOL. I did a same search with the keyword 'Mama' and I got this -

My Chemical Romance - Mama
Kanye West - Hey Mama
Ozzy Osbourne - Mama I'm Coming Home
Scissor Sisters - Take Your Mama
Genesis - Mama
Tupac Shakur - Dear Mama
Cursive - Mama, I'm Satan
Elliott Smith - Wouldn't Mama Be Proud?
2 Live Crew - Hoochie Mama
Bob Dylan - Mama, You Been On My Mind
Pixie Lott - Mama Do
Alexisonfire - Hey, It's Your Funeral Mama
Cursive - Mama, I'm Swollen
Clap Your Hands Say Yeah - Mama, Won't You Keep Those Castles in the Air and Burning
Morrissey - Mama, Lay Softly on the Riverbed

Nope. Keep away from the song from My Chemical Romance - it started with "~~We all are going to hell...~~". Not by Scissor Sisters too, unless you want your mama to know you are coming out. I think 2 Live Crew has a different person in mind when they sang about hot mama. And please avoid Alexisonfire.

Me? Now, I am going with this oldie - Mama Said by The Shirelles.

Yeah, I like it. There are often too many days like this. Thanks for calming me, mom.

Or if you want to be different, then go with the ringtone my ex-colleague had chosen -

Notty, Notty Bella

2010-03-06T21:51:00.002+08:00

Well, there is a reason to celebrate March. Twilight New Moon DVD is going to be released this month!

Ermm.. Bella? My eyes are up here.

Percy Jackson & The Lightning Thief (2010)

2010-02-21T23:14:00.001+08:00

Okay, I have to admit that the movie poster of Percy Jackson was cool enough that I found myself waiting for this movie to premiere. And then the day came (and yes, this blog is slow... I have been lazy), I find myself puzzled, wondering if the movie producers were aware how not unlike this story plot is like to Harry Potter. Of course, one should question the author of the series, Rick-something. I have to confess that I was looking for something to fill the void that Harry Potter has left since that the books had ended and we are in between HP suckie-movie-6 and the finale 2. But I did not know that we are settling for a Harry Potter-alike type of film.

And the funny thing too was that I could not help to see the similarity between who's-that-boy's hairstyle with the famous hairstyle of Zac Efron.

I bet he's getting enough remarks on this - to the point where I would believe he would be screaming - If I hear one more comment on Zac and me...

But seriously, I enjoyed Lightning Thief. It makes me want to read the other four books of Percy Jackson. And hopefully the movie earns enough bucks to make a sequel. But seriously, Percy with 2 mates for the good against the evil is too not-unlike Harry Potter with Hermione and what's that red-haired boy's name?

She must be thinking of Hermione could just kick her ass.

Logan Lerman (I have to googled this!) is a welcome change to those who want someone other than Harry Potter (sorry, Daniel Radcliffe!) and of course the heartthrob - Zac Efron. I hope to see more of him in this series.

2012

2009-11-12T22:36:00.004+08:00

I had been waiting for this film, counting down for a week when I thought it was just right amount of time to be excited of the film. I have always been a fan of natural disaster film. I don't know why, and neither am I interested to explain. Something about how the earth opens up and fury and anger of the mother nature terrifies me and I like it when the special effect catch the moments well. So, yes, I love The Day After Tomorrow, Dante's Peak, Armageddon, Twister and more. They were really good.

To know that the producers of this film are the same as The Day After Tomorrow is almost like an assurance that the film would be as exciting and good. So, I got my ticket early.. way before tickets are announced to be sold out, and only leaving front row seats.

Even the trailer was terrific, making audience with great expectation and excitement.

The special effects were good. I have to give the movie that. And that was what I was paying to watch. I mean, the special effects are the actual actor of the show. And of course, good stories and believable plots should be good too, except that I am not feeling them for this film.

I like John Cusack. I have liked this actor since.. I don't know when. I don't really recall his films right now, other than Must Love Dogs. But as much as I had wanted to see him in a believable reluctant hero spot, I was not. He was not supposed to outshine the film, and he did not. But neither should he had to struggle to convince me that he was a true hero inside. I was not feeling it for him. Neither did I care if he had lived or died, unlike Dennis Quaid or Jake Gyllenhaall in The Day After Tomorrow.

Maybe.. just maybe it was because I did not like the role he was playing - Jackson Curtis. Jackson Curtis is the divorced dad, who is struggling to prove that he is very much the good dad he believes himself to be. So, he takes his two young kids to a campsite in Yellowstone. There, although the place is already sealed off, with warning, he climbs over the fence, bringing his children to the 'no entry' zone. Not only that, he walks his children to the dried spot of the lake, which has mysterious steams oozing out, as well as corpse of a deer. Such a loving father.

And then of course later on, as he rushes to find an important map, he has to bring his daughter along, instead leaving her with the mother near the important vehicle to fly away with - the plane. And leave the kid in the van when an earthquake could have separated the child from him?

And what's with the kids and their inability to stick to a spot? After a wasted time explanation to the boy that he has to stay behind to take care of the sister, the boy still swims away to find his father.. irritating.. as irritating as the screaming little witch girl (Dakota Fanning) in Tom Cruise's War of the World. Just like that movie, I was screaming in my mind - Die you, kid. Die!

And then, the stupid speech. You know.. with only 14 minutes to go.. when people are already panic about survival, the director allows the speech of mankind and not. Damn. It was crap. Come on. Tsunami is coming. There's no time for a great speech of good humanitarian value and all that shit.

As well as Jackson's moment with his kid and the kiss for the ex-wife. Damn it! People are going to die. Stop being horny for the ex.

And then, as the door was shut eventually, the people in the ship did not even cheer for that their lives are already saved. Nope. They wait. They wait for some man - in this case, Jackson Curtis (whom they have no idea who he is, nor what he is doing in screen or that room) to merge from the water, and then they cheer. They cheer for a man they don't even know. No, they do not cheer when they are safe. They cheer for some seemingly unrelated event.

And really, I hate Woody Harrelson. I would have loved the volcano special effect at Yellowstone, but Woody spoils it for me.

Name Me a Name

2009-11-08T21:51:00.004+08:00

I have always thought it is sweet of Americans to name their newborns after someone dear to their hearts. Like you know, little Sue is named after Aunt Sue who passed away 3 months ago. Or little Peter is named after Grandpa Peter, who passed away years ago. Bless his soul, after being run down by a car when he was out for a walk.

Apparently such practice is not allowed in the traditional Chinese custom. It is considered bad luck to name a newborn after a departed relative. It is like putting a curse on the newborn. I have seen how the elders in the family have to do their homework in recalling the names of all their cousins, uncles, aunties, brothers or sisters, just to make sure that the name Mei Hwa was not taken up years ago, by a bad luck aunt who died choking on fishbone, or an Ah Kow who had passed away a decade ago, falling into the drain due to bad street lighting.

It's a no-no thing. :(

Bra

2009-11-02T21:35:00.004+08:00

I overheard my mom talking to my Tua Ee (Big Aunt) recently on the phone. My mom said that she would be busy later.. heading out to throw her undergarment to the sea.

My thoughts went on to think how in the world my mom, who's known to have weak knees, gonna ride her motorbike all the way to the sealine to throw her undergarment.

I know, you may be thinking - undergarment? Sea?

Apparently, yes.

It's a belief among certain Chinese that throwing undergarment to the garbage bin would be an inappropriate way to dispose off one's personal items, when they are no longer usable. They should be a proper way to get rid of them, and I think, my mom thinks that this is a way to return them to Earth, away from any perverts' touch or anything...

I asked her how she was going to do it, since that the nearest sea line would be perhaps 30 minutes to an hour ride away. She told me that when she said that she was throwing them to the sea, it did not mean so. It meant throwing to a rushing stream that would lead the undergarments to the sea.

I said - huh?

Mom said that she found a drain where the water was rushing fast. It was near a Tua Pek Kong's hut. I asked her if she was really going to throw such a thing near Tua Pek Kong? She giggled. I know.. it would be a distance away, but the water in the drain there was rushing fast enough to be considered as a stream.

Mom said that throwing such undergarments away, in a plastic bag, with name written, plus birthdate - Chinese birthdate and not the English one, with a clip of hair and nails, would ensure that bad luck is washed away.

So... if my state is flooded with my mom's undergarment, please do not blame me. I won't stand in my mom's way to uphold the tradition.

;p Hahaha...

Idiot Maybank.

2009-10-28T14:05:00.001+08:00

After all these years, with the improvement of technology, Maybank still has a way to remind us of its inefficiency and incompetency.

Remember those years when Maybank has no cash or cheque deposit machines and the only way to deposit is to bear with the queue? Remember when you wamt to place a fixed deposit?

It's like you watch your live passes you by, when you wait for your turn in Maybank. Pick a number. Any number. And you can be waiting for more than an hour no matter how near or distance your number is. You know what? To be efficient and not to waste them, it feels so good if you can bring in your laundry when you are in a Maybank branch. As you wait for your turn, you can fold your clothes. Bring an iron, if you need to. While waiting, you could just iron your clothes.

And then, thanks to technology, we have more cash and cheque deposits. And thanks to technology, we have Maybank online. This really speeds things up, knowing that we don't have to deal with Maybank workers. I love the idea of e-fixed deposit.

Before, I did not mind not having an account in Maybank. I didn't care if it was supposed to be the BIGGEST bank in Malaysia then. It was digging its own grave and I prayed to see its collapse.

Unfortunately, my boss pays me through this bank, so I am kinda stuck with the account. With the online and machines, I am a contented customer now.

Except just now. I tried to call Maybank to inquire about the service charge on the cards. I waited. And waited. And waited. This is like an old dead boring storyline recycled to haunt me. And at the end, after minutes of standing by the phone and endless staring at myself through the nearest mirror, I gave up.

Maybank is Maybank.

One cannot expect an incompetent fool to be competent.

Touch

2009-10-27T21:01:00.000+08:00

When you are about to flush the toilet, have you ever thought of the person who touched the flush handle before you? I mean, think of the thing he held before he reached out for the flush handle to flush. Now think of you touching the same flush handle.

It's like technically you have touched another man's penis.

Now, repeat the paragraphs above, to suit the diagram below, and you are still in the same situation.

And yes, unfortunately.. I flush always, unless there is no water.

An Affair with a Book Fair

2009-10-26T20:39:00.003+08:00

I am a bad shopper. For clothes. I don't know the art of comparing and trying and testing and feeling the materials or even checking out details of the clothings to decide if I should fall in love with it or not.

I don't know how to shop for food or to buy vegetables and meat. I don't have the patience to do so.

But I have patience when it comes to buying DVDs. Or novels.

Piazza, beside Penang Sunshine Square, held a book fair for Times Bookshop recently. There were books sold 3 for RM10, 3 for RM20 and new books were sold at 30% discount.

When I looked at the rows of books, poorly stashed up on the tables for book-discount worshippers to oogle over, I decided to go for gold. I spent 2 hours plus, and almost broke my neck, reading the book titles one by one, to find familiar titles and authors.

Mind you, this happened on the day when I swore in the morning I would not be buying any more books soon.

Why?

Because I have been a tramp when it came to buying books lately.

I took advantage of HSBC's 35% discount on books bought in ACMAMALL dot com. This, in fact, happened several weeks after I bought my first sum of novels from ACMAMALL. Since that delivery is only free after a purchase of RM200, I did buy that much.

And then, there was this factor that my Godbrother went to USA, and he was able to get me books I am not able to get in Malaysia. So, I bought again, through him, books I ordered through Amazon dot com.

And although I swore that morning, a discount like that was too tempting to resist. So, I bought myself three more books.

I really need a long vacation to finish all these books. ;p

Malaysia Credit Card Service Charges

2009-10-25T20:24:00.004+08:00

Malaysia government is starting to charge 'service charge' on credit cards. I don't have any supplementary cards under me, but boy, do I have principal cards!! I blame all those credit card salespersons who stalk all around shopping malls.

Take this credit card. Take that credit card.

And when I apply for one, the banks give me two. I apply for Visa Free-for-Life, and I get Mastercard too.

So, since that the government wants to charge RM50 per card, I bet most cardholders would be going to the banks in these two months to get rid of their cards. My friends have already pledged their devotion to one or two banks. I am stuck. I like 4 banks - Citibank, HSBC, Maybank and CIMB. So, I have to pay RM200?? Damn.

Dato' Seri Najib said something funny today. He said that he offered more tax reliefs but people are upset about the RM50 service charge on the credit cards. He said among all, he reduced the income tax rate from 27% to 26%.

Like duh..

I am not affected by that reduction, but I am surely affected by the service charge. Who is to be thankful for that reduction? Dato' Tony Fernandez? Astro owner, Ananda? What? These people need credit cards??

I told my friend who works for CIMB that I am canceling most credit cards, but not CIMB. He jokingly thanked me. I told him, not because of loyalty. I am stuck with installments. I cannot escape. ;p

Water Supply in Penang

2009-10-24T13:07:00.002+08:00

A few years ago, when Penang state was under the perceived forever in-control Gerakan control ruling, there was a hush-hush argument about the installation of water filter outside of the flat. Residents who had done so were demanded to remove the filters. Actually, it had to be the unclean pipes.

This means that even though the water is clean when it is delivered from the dam, the water is washing up and flows with it the rust, dirt and everything and more of whatever that can be found in the pipeline and the container. Of course the authority blames poor management or maintenance of the buildings, which funnily, can be linked back to the authority. The authority is the one responsible for approving the pipes and containers.

So, then, the ex-Chief Minister stepped in to stop the demand of the removal of the water filters.

As usual, for someone who has too much time in my hand, I decided to snap photos of how fast the white water filter will turn ugly.

Day 1

Day 2 - already slightly brownish

Day 4 - already mild Milo color.

Day 7 - Teh Tarik pekat.

Day 9 - we are consuming this water, friends.

Hm. I guess only those who can afford expensive water filters in the house is able to survive. I have my Diamond Water Filter, which I am happy to know would help me, in my drinking water. Which also makes me feel guilty coz my mom and the kids in other home don't have such privilege. I am a horrible son.

I guess now I can blame the water supply in Penang too for my hair loss. Yeah, I know. There are many reasons for hair loss. It is just nice and convenient to blame others.

Anyway, to the poor and average income earners who cannot afford water filters in Penang, my condolence.

Cursing a Watch

2009-10-23T11:24:00.004+08:00

I believed that when I curse my old watch hard enough, I killed it. Not that I was totally upset with the death of my souvenir watch. It gave me a new reason to curse it again.

Little did I know that my constant cursing brought it back to life, after more than 4 weeks not moving. (It's not the battery. I had checked with the shop). It just moved one day. I only knew when I accidentally picked it up instead of my substitute watch. So, I have brought a dead watch back to life.

Not that I want to be a big whiner, which I am. A watch has to say what the owner is. Looking at this Tissot watch, this watch says that I am plain. Boring.

I don't want to be plain. I don't want to be boring.

If Carrie Bradshaw in the Sex and the City can complain about her engagement diamond ring is all wrong, because the shape is not her, hey, why not me?

So now I am stuck with two watches.

Jay-Z Can't Rap

2009-10-18T01:03:00.002+08:00

I don't care if this guy has already shipped more than 30 million albums. He may be a great producer and produces great music, but he should just stick to being a producer and not as an artist. So, if someone wants to make a record and cannot sing, he should just rap, right? NOT!

It's horrible. He's no Eminem, 50cent or Lil Wayne. Salt 'n Pepa did rap perfectly. Even the shameful Kanye West can. Jay-z is just an embarrassment.

There I said it.

My Drag Queen's Name

2009-10-11T18:59:00.001+08:00

I was supposed to post something on Queens, but Google Search Engine popped up a suggestion, which I was tempted to try... Yes, the sporting me laughed. Loud.

So, I typed my name into the suggestion box.

I got this!

Your Drag Queen Name Is: Helena Handbasket

You go girl!

Drag Queen Name Generator

Blogthings: We're Not Shrinks, But We Play Them On the Internet

Tell Laura I Love Her

2009-10-06T21:57:00.003+08:00

My mobile phone has three Jessica's, three Benjamin's, two Benson's, three Calvin's, three Chris's, two Jeff's, two Jenny's and two Patrick's.

My Facebook has 5 Adrian's, 3 Amy's, 2 Andrew's, 3 Andy's, 2 Ben's, 4 Benjamin's, 3 David's .. and you get the idea.

There are all from Malaysia.

My student's car player played Tell Laura I Love Her.

I realized I have never known a Malaysian named Laura.

The World of Remote Controls

2009-10-04T09:43:00.003+08:00

If I would get myself another speaker, a better speaker system, with remote control, then I would have 6 remote controls lying near my LCD TV. It's either that or I have to manual bend down to tweak the volume button which is lying too low on the floor.

I know. Remote controls are good. If not, we have to get up from our seats to reach for the channel buttons. Future kids would be marveled at how we live in the past without remote controls. It's like a world without remote controls is an uncivilized world. Even ceiling fans now have remote controls, and one does not have to get up from the bed just to lower down the speed.

I look at my media remote controls. Do we really use all the buttons on the remotes? It's like we are speaking to foreigners in different languages.

This is my DVD remote control. What's a marker? Search button in unused. Program? What for? What's a A-b? Random? I don't do Karaoke. Angle?

This is my LCD TV remote control. The biggest space user. TTX/MIX? E.Mode? P.Mode?? Record button??? DMA? Red button? Green button? Yellow button? Blue button? Tools?

Speak English, man!

RMVB player remote control. Made in China!! Simple, and don't speak in English. Musica, which is not about Music. I know what OSD is for, but not N/P.

N/P - No Problem??

WDTV Player remote control. I have to say that this is the simplest, and the smallest, after RMVB player remote control. It makes a hell lot of sense.

The famous remote control in Malaysia - Astro remote control. I have no idea what the FAV is for. I hardly use the color buttons. Mail button?

My point is - the world can surely use smaller and easier to understand remote controls.

I Smell a Rat

2009-09-28T22:50:00.004+08:00

Well, since I buried my wounded plant outside of the building, the rat in my office needed a new victim. My colleague jokingly accused me of purposely sabotaging her plant. By taking my plant outside, I left her plant vulnerable to vicious biting of the rat. And hence, this is my update on the new poor victim in the office.

Already one down.

A week later... the plant had no chance.

Brigette Lin Ching Hsia's Characters Trauma

2009-09-27T00:11:00.004+08:00

I was in awe of Brigette Lin Ching Hsia's glamorous comeback in the 90's, signaling her retirement from her retirement from the movie industry.

Brigette Lin first returned in Tsui Hark's film - Swordsman II. She acted as a man who castrated himself to become perfect martial art leader. To become a perfect martial art leader, he must be a woman. I was surprised at first when my friend told me that Brigette was a man in the movie. I was surprised but I loved the idea of her comeback. It was different from her many roles of repetitive characters of same storyline love movies from Taiwan.

At the moment of the popularity of the film, I thought her character's death was one of the most beautiful in any film.

And then came Dragon Inn, where Brigette Lin again acted as a character with martial art ability. And in a male costume. And the character died again.

And then there was the famous Bride with White Hair, acting angrily against straight character played the late Leslie Cheung. She did not die in the first movie, but she went crazy, jilted by love.

And I believe there was the Ashes of Time, where again, in a male costume, her character went crazy with jealousy.

And there was the film Fire Dragon, where she was denied of love again.

And she was the cold killer, really depressing-like, in Chung King Express.

I think her character died again Handsome Sibling, acted opposite the not-handsome Andy Lau.

Actually, by the time her character was denied of happy ending in Bride with White Hair, I was already having a trauma - Brigette Lin's dead characters trauma.

Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows

2009-09-22T21:18:00.004+08:00

I kept telling myself that sometimes we need to do something crazy.. something stupid. Not something bad like any violent act.. but you know.. like hiking up the hill at 4am. Or meditate whole day. In fact, once I was invited to meditate the whole night into the next morning. Something like this... something crazy.

I still remember queuing up for Harry Potter's last book. I was eager to know the conclusion. I needed to know if the unstable, though talented, JK Rowling was going to do something bizarre like writing off the one character that had made her a billionaire, just because I suspected she felt guilty for the fame Harry Potter received and not Neville Longbottom.

Here is the diary of the day Harry Potter Book 7 was released.

Lined up for my book at 6.40am, and I was already customer no.40. To fend talkative people who would blab out the spoiler, I blasted my MP3 out loud - letting Rihanna and her eh eh ella ella Umbrella to drown the voices around. No problem even at the cashier when I could pick up my order at Borders. And then, queued up for my free breakfast at Starbucks. And then, I saw it - this young girl, who sat down on an empty chair, already reading, like others in Starbucks. But she was starting with the last pages instead of the first chapter. Freak!! I scrambled. Breakfast or no breakfast, I was not about to let anyone tell me the ending.

I did not avoid internet and switching on tv for nothing, just in case any news blurted out the ending.

Skipped lunch. Skipped dinner. Did my reading from 8 am and finished the whole Harry Potter Book 7 at 1030pm. Phew!

Google Translation from English to Bahasa Melayu

2009-09-21T11:25:00.004+08:00

I decide today to have fun with the translation of Google Translation from English to Bahasa Melayu (Malay language).

I eat French Fries. ---> Aku makan prancis goreng.
Hahaha!

I am going home. ---> Aku akan pulang.
Okla. Not bad.

I took a bath. ---> Aku memuat mandi.
Huh?

I am downloading a song. ---> Saya men-download lagu.
I think I can accept this. Anyway, 'download' in Malay language is muat turun. Serious. ;p

How do you do? ---> How do you do?
Serious. This was what I got.

Don't lie to me. ---> Jangan berbohong padaku.
Okla. Pass.

May I kiss you? ---> Bolehkah aku menciummu?
Wow. Pass.

I want chicken burger, with only tomato sauce and no onion, please.
--->
Aku ingin burger ayam, hanya dengan sos tomato dan tidak ada bawang, silakan.
Wow. Serious. Not bad.

Son of a gun. ---> Sompret.
Huh?! I did not know that.

Drag queen. ---> Drag ratu.
LOL.

In the wee hours of the morning ---> Dalam larut pagi
Impressive.

I am blogging this down, as a reminder to myself not to use Twitter.
---> Saya blogging bawah ini, sebagai pengingat untuk diriku sendiri untuk tidak menggunakan Twitter.
Okay.

I kissed a girl and I liked it
The taste of her cherry chapstick
I kissed a girl just to try it
I hope my boyfriend don't mind it

It felt so wrong, it felt so right
Don't mean I'm in love tonight
I kissed a girl and I liked it
I liked it
--->
Aku mencium seorang gadis dan aku menyukainya
Rasa nya cherry chapstick
Aku mencium seorang gadis hanya untuk mencubanya
Saya berharap pacarku tidak keberatan

Semuanya itu terasa begitu salah, semuanya itu terasa begitu benar
Tidak bererti aku jatuh cinta malam ini
Aku mencium seorang gadis dan aku menyukainya
Aku menyukainya

Okay. Not bad.

This is no fun. :( I am moving on.

Titanic Rose Lied

2009-09-20T20:34:00.002+08:00

Yes, Jack. I won't jump. I know.. I know.. I jump, you jump.
But if you jump, I won't.
Okay.. I'll listen to you. I will marry again.
I'll lie to that man.
I'll marry him although it is you I want.
Or I think I want.
You know what..
It does not matter.
Men are suckers.
I won't jump for you.
I'll lie to the man I would marry.
You and him won't win.
I will.
Suckers!

Ebookwise - Ebook Reader

2009-09-18T22:24:00.007+08:00

My ebook reader arrived!! :)

After contemplating and desperat-ing for it for quite some time, my godbrother Stanley came to my rescue, reluctantly (yes, I went through the whole preaching about budgeting and not spending unnecessarily from him, the younger one among the two of us in our godbrother relationship), and told me that his colleague, Julian Kung is able to help me to get the ebook reader I want from America.

Of course I was torn a little between Ectaco Jetbook Reader, which is able to read many formats of ebook and Ebookwise reader. What's the difference? Around RM400. The ebookwise reader I manage to get costs me around RM400. Ectaco may cost around RM800.

I ordered online, and got it to be sent to Julian who was in America. Ebookwise is shipped only in America and Canada. (Of course eventually I came across another page where someone is willing to ship Ebookwise reader worldwide. Link is provided at the bottom.)

So, this is how my ebook reader looks like in my hand. I should be delighted, right? Well, it is only partial of my whole story.

Ebookwise reader uses no latest technology when it comes to the card. It uses the obsolete Smart Media card. I was lucky to have one in my drawer, and luckier that I am able to find it. It is only 8MB and this can already cost a coolly RM50 online.

But the unfortunate part is that laptop nowadays only read SD, MMC etc cards and not SmartMedia card. Last I heard, a smart media card reader costs around RM100+. :(

A check in One-Stop Penang got me to the top floor and I managed to get a reader, costing only RM20. There were two versions. First attempt failed, and succeeded to get the right reader only on the second visit. I should have brought my Smart Media card along during my first visit to try it out.

The purchase of the Ebookwise reader give me these two - a USB cable and a phone line cable. But since that I have the Smart Media card, I doubt I would be using them, since that the process of transferring files from my laptop to the ebook reader is slower through these cables, as compared to by Smart Media Card.

This was my BIGGEST mistake. I don't read. I didn't read of the input power and being the handyman-challenged person I am, I plugged the adapter into Malaysia's power source.

I killed my original adapter. It is no longer able to function - to charge my ebook reader. As the point is really narrow, it is difficult to find one in Malaysia.

I was lucky enough to find one in my second attempt at Macalister Lane. This baby costs me RM42, and it is REALLY heavy. So, imagine me traveling with this adapter. Hm.

Point is - I have my ebook reader now. :) I am so happy.

Taylor Swift versus Kanye West

2009-09-16T11:31:00.004+08:00

Of course Kanye West was rude. If it had been Eminem or 50Cent who won the award, I bet he would not be so tough enough to walk up and took the mike away from Taylor Swift. And the worse part was this was Taylor Swift's first VMA award won. I like what Taylor Swift had said - She was thrilled she won. She was thrilled Kanye West appeared on stage with her. And suddenly, she was not so thrilled anymore. But a good person she is that she chose not to bad-mouth him. PR, people. PR!!! Perhaps Kanye can learn a lesson or two.

One website said that Kanye West acted that way because he did not like when things didn't go his way. Translated - he was losing BIG TIME. And he was a coward. Snatching the mike away was like taking a lollipop away from a young girl. How rude. Damn rude.

So, the world sympathizes with the talented country chick. Okay, so Kanye West is a jackass. Don't quote me. Quote the President.

What does this convert to?

More album sales for Taylor Swift. It's bound to happen. Winning an award helps to promote the album. Sympathies promote even more.
More airplays for Taylor Swift's You Belong to Me. I expect it to go up the chart again.
Taylor Swift is going to win awards in Country Music Award. Not that she wasn't expected to before this whole incident, but I am talking about winning more than expected. Remember Dixie Chicks in the Grammy?

Ask Madonna. When Academy Award sneered at her Evita, the world did not disagree, but it did not stop the increase of sympathy for the lady who worked so hard to promote Evita and yet was rejected. That year, interestingly Grammy embraced her. She won 3 Grammy Awards.

Ask Nicole Kidman. When ex-hubby dumped her, talented Nicole who was overlook often for Best Actress nomination got her first one for her portrayal in Moulin Rouge and eventually won the year after for her role in The Hours.

Sympathy wins.

Shark Fin Soup

2009-09-09T22:58:00.009+08:00

CNN news showed again shark fin story. I had heard of a few times. Something about the greed of human, wanting shark fin soup, and sharks have to die tragically. According to some sites and news, millions of sharks die each year for their tonnes of fins. Those shark catchers would just slice off the sharks' fins and throw the finless sharks back into the water. Without their fins, the sharks go into their death slowly.

Hm.

I am not one who is fond of real shark fin soup. I have been to Chinese wedding where fake shark fin soup is served. You know what. It is already good enough for me. It is not that I am so good with my taste bud to want the original, nor do I want to pay the high price for the original. Nor do I want to support such cruelty.

The video clip on tv showed how the shark's fin was cut off and thrown back into the sea. And here was what I was thinking.

They are sharks. Remember? Sharks??!!

It is not like they are the CUTEST thing ever on earth. Sharks! They bite.

Hi, I'm Bruce. Fish are friends.

I mean, it is not like the tv is making me any more sympathetic for the sharks. Look at those teeth. Look at those eyes. Even in a photo, the eye is looking like it is hungry for our flesh.

It's not like they looked adorable like the panda below.

Yup, I am the cute one, until Kungfu Panda made me a clown.

So what if I looked lazy? I'm still cuter than you. ;p

Yeah, I know. Pity the sharks. But it is not like the sharks are making it easy for us to pity them when they go around biting people and leaving evidence like half-chewed arm on the beach shore.

Hm.

Samsung I8910 HD vs iPhone 3GS

2009-09-06T22:10:00.003+08:00

How much money can one carry in his pocket?

I so want the new Samsung mobile phone. I like it because its screen is 3.7 inches wide. And it records video in High Definition. I am talking about Samsung I8910 HD. However, reality checks. It is RM2899, which is a kind gesture of RM1 off RM2900. So, do I want to buy a RM2900 mobile phone and carries it around with me in my pocket? I mean, carrying an almost RM3000 in my pocket everyday? Since when our pocket become so rich for such pleasure?

So, that left me with the other temptation - iPhone 3GS, which is ridiculously priced in Malaysia as RM1200+, with monthly subscription of RM100 a month for two years. In Singapore, my brother-in-law can get one for only S$250+ and a cheaper subscription. Good, Maxis. Rob the poorer Malaysians for every single cents they have.

What I don't like about iPhone is that I need to install different application to use different files. I want iPhone to read ebooks but I do not want the headache to figure out if the free application is able to gain access to pdf files as well as storing them.

Moreover, my Maxis line is poor in my area.

The bottom line is that iPhone only costs me RM1200+ to carry around, unlike Samsung I8910 HD and it is less painful on my budget on my first charge. But iPhone is unable to record video at HD ability. Sigh..

And I am doing all this sighing even without having the ability to pay for any of this luxury now. Ha!

Swatch my Watch

2009-09-05T23:14:00.005+08:00

If you curse a watch long enough, it dies. Mine died. If you should read the time and date, you can see that it died on 4.10pm Sept 2.

So, was it cursed? Well, perhaps I did curse it a little too often. Not that I stopped using it. I'm a watch-man. I use watch. For the past few days, I got uncomfortable not able to tell the time and needing to refer to my mobile phone again and again. So inconvenient.

So, why did I curse my watch? Well, to be fair to myself, a watch tells of the owner. I got my watch from my 10 years anniversary for working for my college. And to be frank, this Tissot watch says that I am plain. I am boring.

Hm.

Now, without disrespecting someone, I have to say that eventually it was no secret who picked out the watch for me. And just because it was bought by this person, a lunatic colleague thought I would definitely love it, or I have to love it, just because it was chosen personally by the person. You should have seen how she looked shock when I said the watch was ugly. It was like I had sinned in front of a bunch of innocent kids.

I thought perhaps it was the battery. At a repair shop, the battery was proven to be still having a more than 75% life span left. So, no one knows what went wrong with this Tissot watch.

Some believed that the watch is worth RM1500. It is not. It is less than RM1000. It is not even RM800. It is not even RM600, after discount. How I know? I called up the shop that provided the warranty, pretending to be interested to buy the same Tissot watch model. And of course, with my name engraved at the back, it is probably worth much less now, coz I am no celebrity. I am no Miley Cyrus or Zac Efron or even Paul McCartney.

I saw the watch that defines me. It is a Swatch. And it is also RM580. Which means it remains a watch that defines me, but not likely purchased by me coz it is bloody expensive. I don't believe in paying more than RM200 for any watch.

If Tissot can die on me, why not Swatch? So, nope. I won't be buying that Swatch.

The Key to Your Heart?

2009-09-01T22:42:00.004+08:00

Once in a while, we need to do spring-cleaning our wallets. I mean, look at the junks we collect. We collect business cards, of people we don't even remember weeks later, or friends we don't even want to keep in touch with. Why do we take the cards? We are polite human. Not honest, but polite. And these cards, plus other credit cards, toll cards, membership cards of fitness centers we hardly go to, point cards etc make our wallets thick. The only thing missing would be the cash.

Well, wallet - I can clean. Keys? I can't. How many keys does a guy need? Apparently, more than five. Surprising, huh? Especially for a guy who does not have much.

What happened to the olden days when everything needed is locked in a house, of wooden door, which has a simple slide-down lock.

Olden Days Wooden Lock

Look at the keys I am carrying in my pockets and around my neck. Three keys around my neck - two for cupboards and one for my computer lock.

Two more for my motorbike - one to start the motorcycle and the other to lock.

Five more for my house - one for the mailbox, three for the front door and gate and one more for the metal case in front of my place - to keep my helmet and shoes.

So, a total of nine keys. A guy like me needs nine keys. Thank goodness I do not carry my room keys with me.

As a finale to my entry today, this is to humor you, the reader.
I love rainbow. ;)

Zac Efron Vs Robert Pattinson

2009-08-29T20:31:00.008+08:00

There is a war going on. Apparently I did not know until I came across a poll asking me who is hotter. So, I voted. I was surprised with the result. I am not talking about the old Britney Spears versus Christina Aguilera poll. Nor the so-yesterday issue of Jennifer Lopez versus Mariah Carey. Or the poll of who is better - Beyonce or Rihanna. I am talking about the male heartthrobs poll - Zac Efron aka High School Musical slash Hairspray versus Robert Pattinson aka Twilight.

Not that I am not aware of teenage heartthrob. I think the earliest I was aware of was Shaun Cassidy of the Hardy Boys fame. This should not be a surprise because one, Shaun was in a famous teen detective series, two, he is blonde and three, he was adorable. Was.

Shaun Cassidy of Hardy Boys

I was aware of the fanatic crushes over Elvis Presley and also the Beatles, which of course still poses funny question of why the mob hairs?

In the 80's, there was a big hu-ha over Michael J. Fox who had steady female fans going crazy over him when he was newly mega famous in Family Ties. Of course Michael also got the girls hooked on him in Teenage Wolf and the big box office success Back to the Future saga.

Michael J. Fox in his famous red jacket,
back when he was younger and more adorable. ;p

Of course Michael J. Fox's good fortune in being a teen male idol did not last long. A replacement was found when Kirk Cameron smirked his famous smiles in Growing Pains. He was a hot item then. I don't really recall who replaces him as the next teen idol. Jonathan Taylor Thomas?

Kirk Cameron as the cute Mike in Growing Pains

Of course in the 90's, when Titanic was remembered not for the giant ship that sank but as the movie that got all the girls crying for Jack, Leonardo found himself to be the new male idol then. Oh, the stories I had heard, including one where girls would attend a Titanic party, and they would sit in a round, playing the Titanic soundtrack to see who would recall the movie best and be the first one to cry. Shucks! Did their mothers know they were out? Sheesh.

Leonardo Dicaprio, unsunk by the Titanic.

I think boy bands always produce heartthrobs. In the 80's there was Jordan Knight of the New Kids on the Block fame to make the girls scream. Somewhere along the line, came Back Street Boys with Nick Carter and Nsync with Justin Timberlake. Of course we know where Justin is now. Nick? Hm. Errr.. And although Nick's baby brother did not make as many hits as Nick, Aaron Carter did have a huge following.

Aaron Carter. Where did the baby cuteness go?

And of course I am moving to the idols that lead me to this topic. Zac Efron. Scream!!!! Well, since High School Musical, there is no looking back for this guy. Of course many girls will tell you all the reasons why Zac Efron is the best and the coolest, which makes it too easy for him to win the MTV Awards. That series, plus Hairspray's success, Zac Efron is easily one of the top searched names in the internet.

Zac Efron

After Daniel Radcliffe, it is interesting how novels can help to mold another heartthrob. The success of Twilight depends on the ability of the actors to deliver, and Robert Pattinson convinced girls around the world that he is the loyal and loving Edward, who is all out to be obsessed and to protect his love subject, Bella.

Protective Edward, I mean, Robert Pattinson.

And Robert is winning the polls. Either there are enough ten lunatic fans of Robert to go clicking many times on the poll, or that Robert does have more fans than Zac Efron to make this world goes round and round.

This? This wins the polls?

Well, if Zac Efron and Robert Pattinson are not careful enough, especially with the hairdo thing, perhaps someone else would benefit from their duels and emerges as the winner. I don't see Nick Jonas of Jonas Brothers fame having much problem to build his own fan base. Sure, these three brothers are not enjoying the limelight as big as Hannah Montana. But then again, remember that Beyonce enjoys a greater success on her own, than as 1/3 of Destiny's Child.

Nick Jonas

Robert Pattinson may win today, but when New Moon arrives in November, will his fans stay faithful to him, or they are going to jump ship? I mean Taylor Lautner makes an interesting shapeshifter.

Taylor Lautner, as Jacob in New Moon, Twilight

Lau-nnie World

2009-08-26T12:29:00.005+08:00

My blog is a little too late. I bet there are already several blogs ahead of me to comment on this, but I just can't resist it.

Why did Andy Lau, Hong Kong superstar, show up for the funeral in Malaysia in the first place? Is the old man who passed away really his father-in-law? Is Andy really a family member? To us, he is just an actor in many films and sing a few famous songs. What's the connection here? It's not like he marries Carol Chu after thousand of years courtship. Why hide under the umbrellas?

Are umbrellas that cheap in Malaysia?

I never like Andy Lau. The same goes for Shah Rukh Kahn, but that is a different story. Andy Lau seems to be obsessed with himself. I am not comfortable with that. I had seen his movie, and his earlier ones would always be forced to show him as the devastating good-looking one in the film, which I begged to differ. And picking Edison Chen and everyone telling Edison how he looked like a young Andy Lau? Pleassseee.. Edison Chen sleeps with women.

So, how old is Andy Lau? I still cannot get over the rumors people say Andy Lau does not like woman. Is that the reason he is not married? And it is a disgrace to pull Andy Lau into this funeral scene. Have a pity. An old man has just passed away. The attention should be on the old man. Why did Andy Lau has to show up and steal the attention away from the funeral scene? That poor, poor old man.

Sad that I am the only one in my family who does not like Andy Lau. The rest of my family are crazy over him. Sheesh!

I wonder who is the most silly one in the funeral?

Andy Lau for showing up, and being criticized for everything - from showing up and stealing the spotlight, and to be reminded that he has kept Carol Chu too long unmarried for whatever the reasons may be. I already got one theory, and it's related to the rumor.
The relatives for allowing Andy Lau to walk in front of the procession, although he is not married to Carol Chu???
Carol Chu for not paying respect to her father at the graveyard when the procession ends?
Or the stupid Andy Lau's fan who grumbled about Andy Lau not coming out to greet his fans when they waited so long during the funeral day to see him. Like hello??!! It's a private affair, and someone just died. Why would you want to make this your issue?

Okay, after all the commotions and criticism through the net and sms-es and newspaper, Andy Lau showed his face. Too late. Get a real life, Carol. Your father raised you to be nobody's fool.

If You Are Reading This...

2009-08-25T13:06:00.015+08:00

Someone in Malaysia does not want me to read. Not only me. I think someone in Malaysia does not want Malaysians to read. Well, perhaps I should be clear on this. That someone does not want us to read books. Newspapers - no problem. Books? This is a no-no.

Let's go random. A book like Twilight, written by Stephenie Meyer. It is priced at USD10.99 in Amazon.com. In Malaysia, Kinokuniya is selling it at RM35.23. This is funny considering the fact that an American earns around USD46,859 a year, which makes that USD3904.92 a month. A Malaysian earns around USD8,141 a year, which is translated to RM28570.91 a year, which means RM2380.91 a month. This means that to buy and enjoy a good novel like Twilight saga, just to learn more about Edward, Bella and Jacob, an American spends 0.13% of his monthly income while a Malaysian spends 1.48%. I thought Malaysia is the poorer country relatively? (By the way, the numbers are taken from International Monetary Fund).

Now, Twilight is a mass produced book, due to popularity, which means the price is lower. If one wants to get books that got rave reviews but not high in printing and circulation, the price can be easily RM50. Which means 10 average meals.

I have been looking for ebook readers. It is so much easier to find ebooks online, and there are a few good bargains. But guess what? Ebook reader is practically not in existence in Malaysia. If there is any consolation, there is no ebook reader sold in Singapore either. There is one ebook reader seller in Batu Pahat, but I'll come back to that later.

Let's look at the famous ebook reader - Kindle. A check on the price on ebay, so that I have an idea of how much I have to pay for it.

A kindle in Amazon.com is priced at USD299. A check on ebay.com.my, I am looking at a Kindle at the price of RM1,757.35. Plus deliver charge of RM85.60. Of course, the Malaysia is kind enough to make things tougher for us to read more, because there is that 30% tariff, which means RM527.21. This means that to own a Kindle by ordering online, I have to pay RM2370.16. Why Americans complain about paying USD299 for kindle is beyond my understanding.

Here's another famous daylight robber of the poor nation - Bebook. Bebook is USD279.99. According to ebay, this book is RM1,395.02, with delivery charges of RM98.76. Thanks to Malaysia custom, there will be a tax of RM418.51. This means I am paying a total of RM1912.29. Yeah right.. I feel super rich enough to buy this.

Okay, the cheaper popular version of ebook reader which is said so often on the news - USD100 cheaper than Kindle. It is USD199. In ebay, I find one that is priced at RM862.61 + delivery charge of RM36.30. Of course uncle tax is RM258.78. This means I have to bleed a RM1157.69 to get this device.

Okay, and then there is this twin brother of Bebook, which is known as Hanlin. Hanlin is one of the two ebook readers that can be found in Malaysia. The shop is located in Batu Pahat. It must be due to cheap land there. And the dealer does not accept paypal nor credit card. From the reviews, I have to say that this is the best in the market, as it is able to read many version of ebook files. Yeah, funny right? Each company that produces ebook reader tries to make sure that the ebook used in the reader that we pay for must fit a certain file extension the company wants. Blood sucker. Hanlin ebook reader can read almost all version of ebooks there are.

So, how much is Hanlin? RM1399. Of course there is no delivery charge and no tax. But still, RM1399. It's like squeezing every bit of my blood drop just to pay for this.

Of course there is the cheaper version - Ectaco Jetbook.
The cheapest I can find in ebay is around RM704. With a delivery charge of RM73.94. Plus tariff RM211.20. This means I have to pay RM989.14. Why Ectaco Jetbook? Because it can be used to read a number of files too.

Of course we can go with the non e-ink ebook reader - Ebookwise, which is only USD109 or USD139, depending on the memory size you want.

The battery lasts only for 15 hours, unlike the other ebook readers. And it reads less formats unlike Hanlin or Jetbook.

So, my government is not sincere to encourage me to read, huh? Why are these so expensive? And I am not even talking about a typical textbook from America, which may cost easily RM100 to RM200 a book. Check out those Economics textbook price. Money kills.

Something has to be done. Get rid of the tariff. Get the ebook reader in. Penang has a Sony factory but we don't have Sony ebook reader. Funny.

It is said that a Malaysia reads an average of two books a year. Gee. I wonder why.

I Love You Beary Much

2009-08-21T23:49:00.005+08:00

There is a story to this. And yes, I am a man with a stuff toy teddy bear. Why not? I think it is cute. Not that it was meant to be mine. Not that it was meant to be for the one I had bought for.

So, this is not a funny story. But I got the chance to tell it, so why not?

It was close to Valentine. Some 5 or 6 years ago. I met someone whom I did wish to have a relationship with. It was new. I was given mixed signals. I was not sure. So, there I was in Gurney Plaza Parkson and I saw this teddy bear among all the stuff toys there. This one was catching my attention. It has the pitiful face looking back at me, like those little puppies in the animal shelters crying 'Pick me! Pick me!'. I could not resist myself. After thinking for a while, I bought it. As a present to that someone for Valentine.

Ok, the tricky part here was that I was not even sure if that someone liked stuff toy. Or if so, should it be a teddy bear? One thing for sure, I bought it because I liked it and hoped that someone liked it too. So, it is true. Sometimes, when we choose a present, we choose it because we like it, and not because we know the other person likes it. We buy it because no one buys it for us. Bad bad us.

So, I bought it. I was almost broke, but I bought it half-hoping it would be rejected so that the teddy bear would stay with me. I did also hoped it would be not, so that the teddy bear would be shared.

And... it was rejected. So, it was a heart-breaking Valentine for me. I left the teddy bear in the box I had wrapped for months, before I decided to forgive it and took it of the box, and earned a place beside my single pillow on my single-occupied bed.

And years from then, it looked dirty. I was worried about washing it. I did not want it to be damaged. So, I Wikihow it. Someone instructed.

Does it look fierce. Someone commented that. Only then I did realize that I have an angry teddy bear.

Into the pillow case, it went.

Guilt was building in. What if it failed? Would I be killing my teddy bear?

Anxiety built up. I was a little worried.

The teddy bear survived. I had never seen my teddy bear with a wet look. :p

And there I have it. My teddy bear is all bright and cheery.
: D

Taylor Swift - You Belong to Me

2009-08-19T21:12:00.006+08:00

So, what happens if your neighbor happens to be this really hot, cute guy with a look so dreamy, it makes ice melts? You want him? No problem. Just follow these 17 easy tips.

Taylor Swift - You Belong to Me

Make sure that your parents let you have the room with window that faces directly into his window. And the rooms have to be so close that you can see each other's pores. Remember! Directly opposite windows, and really close!
Stalk him. Watch his every move when he is in his room. When he is on the phone. When he is unconsciously unaware that you are looking into his room.
Oh yeah! Look geeky.
When he hangs up the phone, make sure that you are there, writing weird remarks on white pieces of papers to talk to him. You have to. Text messages are too expensive.
Make sure to write 'I love you' even if he is no longer watching. Especially when he is not watching. Nothing helps like a feeling of desperation.
Do your dances when his bind is closed. Remember to look all geeky and nerdy. Dance like there's no tomorrow, coz you'll never know when he is watching.
Purposely hang out outside of your house on a bench, under the hot, bright sun in your geeky glasses, waiting for the hot boy next door to show up. This should get his attention not to ignore you. Make sure your hair is as dry as dry leaves. And oooh. Let him touch your hair.
Play jealous, to the hot chick arriving in her hot car to pick him up. Look desperately like you don't have a chance. Desperation accelerates determination.
Go to the school game. Dress up like a nerdy school band member. Instead of playing some music, move your lips like you are singing.. sing anything. Especially about how this hot boy neighbor belongs to you and not to the hot chick, who is looking superhot in her cheerleader outfit.
Look sad and desperate.
Continue to move your lips, while the hot boy finds out that hot chick is cruising another hot boy.
Go hang around the window again. Hope that he changes into his tux when you are watching.
Pretend that you are too busy for the dance night. Look sadly at the message of 'I love you' on your bed, written for him, although you never really have the chance to date him to know him well enough, to know if you actually do love him.
Show up for the dance night, looking like a young Cinderella, all beautiful and lovely.
Get the hot boy next door attention with your Taylor Swift look.
Get the boy.
Remember to look like Taylor Swift. Anything less, you won't get the hot boy.

You Can Kiss Me on a Sunday

2009-08-18T10:39:00.003+08:00

Ye Olde Rhyme:

Monday's child is fair of face,
Tuesday's child is full of grace,
Wednesday's child is full of woe,
Thursday's child has far to go.
Friday's child is loving and giving,
Saturday's child works hard for a living,
But the child born on the Sabbath Day,
Is fair and wise and good and gay.

Oh, it's confirmed! All gays are born on Sunday!!

Singapore!

2009-08-16T21:19:00.004+08:00

Well, there are several reasons for me to admire Singapore. Compared to Malaysia -

Singapore is clean. C.L.E.A.N. It is so clean that even Malaysians are scared of littering when they are there. Not that they are worried when they throw plastic wrappers on the street, or out of their moving cars. I have seen that. I had imagined before chasing those cars, and throw the plastic back into the cars, but one, I was worried that bully drivers, and two, my bike could not move that fast. And three, I was lazy. But Singapore! Phew! You have to admire the fear instilled in the early Singaporeans which eventually becomes a discipline that makes Singapore clean. Well, in the city area. No one really counts areas further away. For example, Golden Complex (??) near Bras Basah is a disgrace. But still.. I admire Singapore's cleanliness.
MRT! Without it, I won't know where to go. Not that it helps I get lost often inside the station. But at least I know where to go with MRT. Don't even tell me about the bus, which is efficiently on time. In Malaysia, I dare not to depend on public transportation if it comes to important appointment. Like hell I would let my life be screwed up by buses that never show. Still, MRT is reliable, although I have to admit that it is getting more crowded now.
Metro Men. You can see them. Muscle men. Hunky men. Men with good arms parading down the streets like having arms like that all God's gift to them since birth. They are more health-concious of their body appearance. Given another ten years, I bet it is the city of metrosexual men who are easily understood as vain gays.
Sexual Display. I have been to Vietnam. Thailand. Cambodia. And it is only in Singapore, you will see the young boys hanging on to the girls like they are going to escape anytime when they let the girls go. They are glued. I admire them for their comfort for public display. Really.
Everchanging. I was in Singapore a year ago. There were drillings, and buildings. I was there last week. There were drillings, and buildings. It was like a non-stop city metamorphosising into something grander. There is an excitement - like what is going to come next in Singapore!

So, I must be really happy to be in Singapore? Not really. I am happy for a few reasons. My relatives are there. I am happy to be there to see them. But the currency conversion kills.

But that is not as bad as what I dislike most. The Singapore custom. There is something about that does not please me at all. Maybe it is just me. Maybe it is not. But I hate seeing them, although I am one who carries nothing illegal. They are disturbing.

You will notice the sign - No photos to be taken in the building. No doubt about that. The working people there are the unhappiest people in the world. Really. They have sour faces that kill blooming sunflowers within 3 seconds. I don't know if they are trained to look like that, or they are just pissed off with the thousands over visitors who are walking through their paths each day. Which interestingly, someone should remind them that it is the Tourism Ministry who is persuading many to go over, to spend our monies in Singapore, and make Singapore richer than it already is.

But someone obviously fails to tell these working people in uniform behind the counter.

It is like being sent to detention, once I walk into the custom. The working people are like tormentors. They suck your happiness away once they open their mouths. I said good morning. I wonder now why bother. It was not like I got a smile. I got the interogation. Which was entirely stupid. I have been a visitor to Singapore for 18 years, and I was taught to leave the address blank. I never had any problem before. And this time, she questioned me. Like I had stepped on her cat's tail. I was made to call my relatives to ask for the address. What was with the inconsistency? 18 years, and now they want that?

Just like two years ago, where a working person behind the counter looked like he was so pissed off when I wrote 'city after' - as Tanjung Pagar. Anyone could have mistaken it as the city I am heading to, after the custom building? He looked so miserable in correcting my mistake, like he had already told me 10 times, and yet I wrote it again. 16 years, and no one commented, and suddenly a newer generation of working people in Singapore custom who may be wearing too-tight g-strings got upset.

If they are so upset with Malaysians, why invite us over? Go and find some white asses to kiss. I bet if I am Caucasian, they would have bowed down and kissed my shoes and lick my toes.

Listen with Your Heart

2009-08-08T23:38:00.003+08:00

I don't do kara-oke.

Think of Cameron Diaz in My Best Friend's Wedding. She sucks, but she gets applause. I suck, and that's about it.

I don't know why my friends don't believe me when I tell them I don't sing. They don't. I don't mind hanging around them when they sing. I enjoy their enjoyment. But sometimes, that is not good enough. Friends, being friends, want to include me. And that's when I become worse than just feeling uneasy.

It's like they keep passing the mike to me and say,' You can. You can one.'

And I'll say, 'No I can't. I cannot sing. I sing horrible.'

And they would say, 'I also cannot sing. But I sing also.'

Which is bullshit, because they can really belt out the songs like they may have a slight chance at Malaysian Idol.

And after my refusal and their pleading, I sigh. I know what I must do. I take the mike. And I sing.

And as expected, they realize. 'Oh shit! Jonathan is telling the truth! Shit! He cannot sing one!'

But it's too late. Coz they are hearing me. I am singing.

So, when my eyes meet theirs, their silent expression of horror turns to uncomfortable smiles, pretending that they are not wrong. They try to be polite and smile to tell me that I'm ok, but I know. I suck big time.

That's why I don't do Kara-oke. It's torturing for my friends. It's torturing for me.

Funny Movie Caption

2009-08-07T20:19:00.002+08:00

"I said I want McDonald's Drive Thru,
and for the last time, STOP calling me ROBOCOP!"

Error! Hyperlink reference not valid

2009-08-07T14:36:00.003+08:00

They come in the cutest forms. They are funny.

Once, I was teaching this sweet girl in A-Level. Sweet and innocent. Well, in my class, she was. Outside of my class, I would not know. I gave an assignment. Simple. Just demand and factors that influence demand. She was attentive enough to know that I did suggest several ways of writing. She identified the point, explained and gave elaborative example. I should be proud of her. But she was making me laughing.

She kept talking about the demand for hard disk and the demand for floppy disk. She got the relationship right. Price drops --> customers buy more. Except that she kept talking about how people want floppy di*k. And some like hard di*k.

Please replace * with c.

It was difficult for me to correct her. So, I asked her classmates to do so. She blushed. And I had my only ever surrounded assignment on the demand for hard di*k in the market.

***

How about another ex-student who copied internet articles into her diskette and then did the convenient task of copying the url from the saved files? I ended up with assignment with a full list of

Reference:

Merdith, K. Ways to save money. A://savings.html

Nordith, J. Possible savings. A://households.html

***

When students handed up their assignments, I can tell which students have not been paying attention. Thank goodness this round, I am seeing less. I cannot afford too many hair to drop. My bathroom drain is collecting way too many hairdrop of mine.

I had told my students before. When I sweep my floor, I don't really find dirt. I am sweeping hairdrops.

Anyway, I am still puzzled how blur one of my students is, this round. I guess the word Error! does not mean anything to her.

The Mouse Ran Up the Clock

2009-08-05T19:36:00.006+08:00

I don't believe in writing about my work. If I do, I have many things to say.. but I am not. (Although my stand on blogging on ex-colleagues still stand. :-D But I have to blog about this. I have been attacked.

For weeks, it is no secret among the colleagues that we have ratatouilles living among us in the office. No, they don't cook us food. No, they don't run up the clock. We don't have one. The mother bred and now, we are dealing with ratatouille juniors, except that we don't know how many.

Sure, I had heard of their accomplishment. The mom was already caught, and no one knew what to do about it. The last time I saw it, it was left in a trap, on the staircase, where my college students were able to view it. Talk about marketing.

The b-rats, however, are still around. I knew one chew my colleague's mouse wire. Yes, envy. One mouse after the other mouse's supposedly tail. I cared not. I did not even care when they chewed through the thin cover of my colleagues' container, which contained now tainted biscuits. Yucks. Bits of yellow chewed cover could be seen on tables and chairs, and the can of biscuit laid below my table, after it had fallen. I did not care. In fact, I thought my colleague should had known better.

Until it got personal. The stupid b-rats attacked my plant.

Look at my poor chewed up leaves. What stupid rat would want to do that?

This one's a goner. It was chewed off.
I know I should be worried about the plant's survival...
..but anyone notices how dry my fingers are? And the lines.. Hm.

Well, it's of no surprise that no one can really pinpoint where the b-rats (although I imagine them being bigger now) are hiding. Look at the number of boxes we have in the office. Boxes after boxes, and no one knows what to do with them. Not wanting to be called as the complainer and not the initiator, I took out one big box of really old stuff and put it outside, just to be told by my boss that it did not belong outside. I had to move the box back in, to stand beside all those other boxes, that no one wants, but no one knows what to do with.

I am just waiting for the day when these boxes injure me a little, and I am able to stay on medical leave for days. Nothing like breaking my leg. Nope. But good enough for me to file a proper complain. And then, they will clean up the mess.

This has to be the mother spaceship.
I think rats breed here.
I think animals breed here.
I think lost civilization of Amazon is here.

Day Two: The mouse knocked down the cat.
Yup, my colleague's pink cat had a great fall.
And it's not even a crap.

And the rat chewed more.

I should do something for my plant. I think a funeral is inevitable. I should done it today at work, but I got busy. Sigh.. And to think that my first plant is stolen.. My second plant is raped.

Sophie's Choice - She's Back

2009-08-04T08:49:00.004+08:00

I was not planning to blog anything like this. My blog is new - I thought of only blogging about silly things that had happened - to me, around me, on me and about me. You know - silly me, silly job, silly management, stupid management and crazy ex-colleagues. (It's never safe to blog about current colleagues. They read.)

I am a slow reader but I am a fan of Sophie Kinsella's work. I had fallen in love with Kinsella since I got my first copy of Shopaholic. Since then, I became a collector-a-holic for anything Kinsella, minus her Madeline Wickham's books. I am still puzzled about the need to release books under two names, but this is not a blog on that. This is a blog on my new FAVOURITE book - Twenties Girl.
Lara's boyfriend has just dumped her, without any explanation. Her business partner, Natalie, went away for a holiday and never came back. She's stuck with a job title as a small headhunter business parter, but she has no clue on how to be a headhunter. Her uncle is the rich Bill Lington, who owns chains of coffee cafes and has a snobbish wife and a spoilt daughter. Lara's parents are nice, but they are too worried about her condition since the boyfriend break-up thing. Her sister is enjoying her suffering.

Lara's luck takes a turn when she is the only one in her great aunt's funeral who is able to see her great aunt's ghost - a 23 year old ghost, who is looking for her missing necklace. And since that Lara is the only one who can see her, young-looking great aunt Sadie pesters Lara into helping her.

I was giving up a little on Sophie (If you are reading this, Sophie, which I doubt you would, 'coz you are so busy... but if you are, uhm, I'm lying.). I did not buy Domestic Goddess. I mean, I bought the book, but I did not accept the idea. I mean, a business woman knows how to cook a good meal after one lesson? Hell, I still burn fried eggs after so many years of cooking. Remember Me? is a nice book, but it is nothing like Shopaholic series (minus the one with the sister thing - what was that all about??) and Can You Keep a Secret? I am a major fan of these two. Remember Me? failed to impress me because it painted the female lead as a bad person. And I did not see any reason to like the male too.

But Twenties Girl brings back the Kinsella I have learned to love. It is a funny book. Sometimes, as I read along the book, I wondered of the necessity to delay getting-to-the-point thing, but Kinsella has the magic to fit the whole story nicely. I felt for Josh and Lara. Because Kinsella wrote it such a way. I did not feel for Josh and Lara. Because Kinsella wrote it such a way. I felt for Lara and Ed. Again, because Kinsella told me so, in the book. It was delightful.

I read slow. But I could not get the book off my hand. I finished reading it within 2 days, minus the office hours. I was addicted. There were moments I laughed out loud (now I really know what LOL is really about) that I did not even care if my neighbours would think I was crazy. Those were the moments I could believe that only Sophie Kinsella's crazy and funny female lead characters are capable of doing.

It is a good book. That is why I actually decide to blog about it. And it makes me falling in love again with Kinsella, and make me proud that I am a fan of hers. Gosh, if only I can read another new work from her now. :D

10 Sentences I Like BEST!!!!! ;-p

2009-08-03T22:05:00.001+08:00

1. Jonathan, due to the screw-up of the banks, your credit cards are now zero. You don't have to pay back anything. It's ok. We admit it's our fault.

2. Jonathan, here - RM1000 increment. And please expect bonus too. Nothing short of 5 months.

3. Jonathan, no need come to work this week. No electricity. Don't worry, we'll still pay you.

4. Is this Jonathan? Congrats. You are our Citibank lucky winner. A trip to San Francisco. And make sure you put a flower on your hat.

5. Is this Jonathan? Someone left in his will a bungalow house in Pulau Tikus area for you. Don't worry about the assessment rate every year. It's taken care of.

6. Really sorry, Mr Oon. We do not know how that RM1,000,000 got into your account. We'll just leave it there. It's ok. It's yours now.

7. Here. Go America. Stay there one year.. Travel around. All free.

8. Hi Jonathan. This is Sony. We want you to test free all Sony electrical products. We will deliver them to you everytime we have a new product launch - handphone, LCD, Blu Ray Player, Laptop etc. And we'll pay you.

9. Thanks for saving the economy, Jonathan. I mean, Tan Sri Dato' Jonathan.

10. Jonathan! Paris Hilton is so in love with you. And so is Zac Efron.